"You're Just Jimmy's Type..."

Chris Osgood's bout with the flu is the best thing that ever happened to Jimmy Howard. Along every step of his development, Howard has never been under real pressure to live up to expectations. Whenever he faltered, there was always a safety net of supporters telling him that he was still young, still developing, and that everything would eventually work itself out. Up to this point, Howard has been allowed to develop his game at the lower levels, far away from the toughest job in Detroit, the starting goaltender for the Red Wings.

We all knew Jimmy Howard. He was that guy that everybody said was supposed to be the next great Wings goalie. He was like Dick Clark, he never seemed to age. I swear the kid has been 23 years old since 2004. He was the perpetual light at the end of the tunnel for any Hasek-hater or Ozzie-basher. Howard was widely known as a can't-miss superprospect, but nobody ever seemed to raise the most obvious of questions: "If he's so great, why the hell is he still playing in Grand Rapids?"

In the salary cap era of the NHL, that question has been answered. Teams like the Red Wings don't have the luxury of paying a veteran backup $1-3 million a year to keep the seat warm for a developing youngster. More than ever, young NHL players are being thrown right into the fire because their teams can't find a financial reason to explain why the kid they just paid $15 million should be wasting his skills in Sault Ste. Marie.

Now, Jimmy Howard is no longer a prospect. He is 25 years old. He has plenty of minor league experience. Ozzie is out, it's Jimmy's job for now. It's time for Howard to show us something, and he has. Statistically, Howard has been more than solid in the last few games, but I wasn't 100% convinced until I watched him last night. He was terrific. The Wings allowed far too many odd man rushes (I won't even get started on that), but Howard bailed out his defense on multiple occasions. One of the goals was complete luck, and another was a seeing-eye shot from the point that Howard never saw. Aside from that, he could have stopped the 3rd period goal, but it was by no means soft. All in all, Howard has played well and, aside from last night, the Wings have been winning. Let's not go assigning nicknames or anything, but it's safe to say that the early returns on Jimmy Howard are looking good.

Quick note: How ironic is it that Howard's birthday is March 26, the same day of my greatest Red Wings memory, the 6-5 overtime beatdown (literally) of the Colorado Avalanche that spurred the Wings on to back-to-back Stanley Cup championships? Weird...

I Love NHL on the Fly

Recently, I have begun a nightly habit of falling asleep to NHL on the Fly, the NHL Network's answer to SportsCenter. To be fair, the show has nowhere near the in-depth analysis, witty banter, production value, or "Scott Van Peltiness" of SportsCenter, but NHL on the Fly does have one thing that has drawn me to it over the Worldwide Leader. Rather than showing a condensed, 30-45 second highlight with studio announcers voicing over the action, NHL Network dedicates 2-3 minutes to each game and shows cuts of the most important plays (not just the goals), leaving in the original announcer voice-overs. After the all of the game action has played out, they kick it back to the studio for analysis from Canadian dudes with mullets (Brian Engblom, et. al.). Seeing highlights in this format, you really get a sense for the flow of the game as a whole. It's a whole new perspective. If I may combine two of my greatest loves, sports and bar food: When you have all become used to digesting your sports in the form of small plates at the SportsCenter tapas bar, the hearty meals at the NHL on the Fly gastropub are a welcome respite.

Red Wings v. Stars, 6:30PM Tonight on NHL Network!

Call your local cable/satellite operator and tell them "I want NHL Network!"

The Kronwall Call

I have to agree with Gerard here. That call was pure bullshit. Just because a player gets hurt does not make the hit illegal or dirty. My pee-wee coaches always told me if you put your head down, you're going to get hurt, and they were right. Watch the tape - the puck was in his skates, Kronwall hit him with his shoulder, and he didn't leave his feet (his feet did come up, but that was a result of the collision). The hit was textbook. If I was coaching defensemen now, I would have them watch the tape of Kronwall's check.

What really upset me was how the none of the refs had their hands up, and the penalty was called waayy after the play took place (also, nothing happened to the guy who cross checked Kronwall on top of Havlat). That shows me that it was a he got hurt call. I could understand a late charging call just to calm the situation down, but an after the fact 5 minute major and game misconduct is ridiculous. If you're going to play in the NHL and skate with your head down, you're going to get your clock cleaned, its as simple as that. If you don't like it, watch tennis.

PS) I do hope Martin Havlat recovers from his injury. I never like to see a player get hurt.

Terrible Officiating

I was at the game last night, I saw the hit in person. I saw it on SportsCenter when I got home. I saw it 15 times in the last 5 minutes on YouTube. I have seen Nicklas Kronwall knock Martin Havlat's head off many many times, but my opinion of it hasn't changed since I saw it in real time. It is one of the worst calls I have ever seen, in any sporting event, ever.

If the officials had called charging, that's fine. Kronwall did leave his feet a bit. Maybe his elbow came up? Fine, call elbowing. Shit, call roughing if you want, but don't insult the intelligence of everybody watching the game by calling interference when the puck was right between Havlat's skates. The ref might as well have gotten on the PA and said "Marty Havlat is out cold and we feel bad for him...5 minute major!" If that hit had occurred in Detroit, rather than in front of 22,000 whining Blackhawk fans, there is no way that Kronwall gets 5 minutes. The NHL should be embarrassed.

I never want to see anybody get hurt, and I hope that Havlat makes a full recovery, but you can't call penalties based on the aftermath. It was a clean hit, regardless of whether Havlat had gets up and skates away, or if he's carried off the ice on a backboard. A clean hit is a clean hit. You can't reward a team because one of their players doesn't have the sense to keep his head up. If you skate around looking down at the puck, somebody is going to knock you out, that's hockey. On the flip side, you shouldn't penalize a team beacuse one of their opponents got hurt. This isn't Little League, it's the National fucking Hockey League. Grow some balls refs, and call the game fairly.

NHL On TV

One of the perks of working at the Anchor Bar is I get to watch the Wings games while I restock the beer coolers. A second perk is that I don't have to listen to the morons that call the game for NBC and Versus.

I know I've bashed them before, but I'm going to bash them again. Doc Emrick - his annoying growls drive me up the wall. Brian Engbloom - a poor man's Barry Melrose with a really stupid looking haircut. Keith Jones - always sits sideways and gives utterly useless commentary. One time I was watching the Wings on Versus and the announcer (not Doc Emrick, evidently there is a B crew underneath him) commented after one of Pavel's slick moves that "Pavel Datsyuk must have graduated valedictorian of Awesome School." He seriously said that, and I wanted to throw my Labatt Blue at the TV.

Of all the bad news you read about the Motor City these days, the silver lining is I get to watch hockey on CBC's broadcast. On CBC, I get the Racicot Chrysler and Windsor Lighting boutique commercials. On CBC the announcers don't try to get me fired up with their voice - they let the game do that. Lastly, on CBC I get to watch Ron McLean, who is my favorite (or should I say favourite) in studio sportscaster. Not only does he keep Don Cherry in check, he asks good questions and he provides good analysis himself. His interview of Gary Bettman a few years back just showed what kind of guy he is. He didn't back down from Bettman - he asked tough questions and tougher followups. But he also asked them in a colegial and measured manner, not raising his voice like a cable news anchor would. Also, if you're watching the CBC broadcast, notice how the in studio analysts talk to each other as opposed to the camera. I think the more conversational tone of Kelly Hrudy and Ron McLean talking two each other makes for better TV than Keith Jones reading off of a teleprompter.

Overall, I'm happy with the Wings play this series. Ozzie has played well, and the Wings D has looked sharp. I still want Datsyuk, Hank, and Marian to get it going, but I'm happy that players like Sammualson, Cleary, and Hudler have stepped up. Hopefully the big guys get it going sooner than later.

Wings and Kitties

Wings won game 7, so I still have my job at the Anchor for another series. Also, gotta talk a bit about my Motor City Kitties. Without further adieu, here it goes.

First - glad to see the Wings win game 7, and more importantly glad to see the game winner goal was a garbage goal by Dan Cleary. It wasn't even a rebound, he more so just pushed Hiller's pad into the puck. Who cares though. As any coach says, good things happen if you throw the puck on net and crash the crease, and that's how the Wings got that goal. I would like to see more of this and I would like to see Pavel and Hank show up in the upcoming series.

Second - I really like Darren Helm. Every shift he makes a good play. Its not always a goal. Sometimes its a big check, a takeaway in the neutral zone, or a strong forecheck where he gets the puck back. Either way, the man is scoring a bit now and I couldn't be happier for anyone else on the team. His goal in game 7 showed on grand display his speed, which will be his greatest asset as his career blossoms as a Wing. Weird and depressing to know that he's two years younger than me.

Third - so we're playing the Hawks. Finally we have a good old fashioned Original 6 match up. And as much as I hate the Hawks, I'm glad to see their relevant again. Getting liqueured up at Marge's over the Preds and Blue Jackets just wasn't the same. Either way, I'm happy that I can hate the Hawks again without feeling guilty about how shitily run an organization (say it in Canadian: Org inn I zaa shun) they are. Fuck Chicago and fuck the Hawks. Fuck Eddie the Eagle, fuck Steve Larmer, fuck Chicago style dogs(not as good as Coneys), fuck Old Style (never as good as Stroh's), fuck Fall Out Boy (from Chicago), but don't fuck Chris Chelios. Never thought I'd ever say such nice things about Chelios.

Quick hits - in regards to the Tigers, it appears Dombrowski is back to his old tricks. He is getting undervalued players for nothing, and watching them blossom into stars. Edwin Jackson appears to be the heist of the century so far. I realize he loaded the Tigers up with some big contracts that weren't worth the paper they were signed on (Sheff, Dontrelle, Big League Nate), but he knows how to spot talent in the lower levels, and the Tigers have a good one in Edwin Jackson.

The Jumpshooting Hockey Team

Here comes a game seven folks, and I must admit I am a little nervous. Afterall, my job as a bartender at Detroit's Anchor Bar kindof depends on the Wings. Here are my thoughts on the last game and the game 7 coming up.

First - A lot of complaints in regards to the officiating this series have been voiced on Valenti and Foster. Certainly there were some missed calls, and the officiating could be more consistent. I was not thrilled with a lot of calls and more importantly a lot of non calls. However, in regards to the game last night, I don't think the officiating really cost the Wings the game.

Second - Last night, one team clearly wanted it more than the other. Once team clearly had more jump in their step. Once team clearly beared (did I spell that right?) down and won the little battles. And that team was the Ducks. The Wings looked sluggish, tired, and listless. Their passes were not crisp, and their shots missed the net. I don't know if it was laziness, arrogance, or if it just was one of those nights, but they sure did not look good. Most troubling to me was how little they crashed the net. Once again, they peppered Hiller with shots, but they were easy shots to stop. Instead if creating traffic, blocking his vision, and getting garbage goals, they're shooting the hockey equivelant of jump shots. Just like how if you don't get to the line in basketball you're not going to get far, the same goes with hockey.

Third - the Wings two homegrown horses have got to pick it up. Hank and Pavel have been noticebly quiet this series, and that has to change. I know the Mule has played great, but theres a reason your big guns are your big guns. For Stanley to to come back to Detroit this year, our two best players must start playing like they're our best players. The Defense is handling its business. Two goals is not an insurmountable amount, but you can't win if you start scoring and getting pressure on with 5 minutes left in the third period. I think the first period of game 7 will be key to deciding which Red Wings team shows up, and who advances to the next round.

Quick Hits - Just watched Curtis Granderson hit a triple then induce Twins pitcher Jesse Crain into a BALK. Curtis Granderslam (I think that should be his nickname, its punchy and is a good play on words) is my Tiger, and has come through in the clutch twice the past couple weeks. While I was in a really good mood after seeing that, I had to watch one of those stupid Lady Janes commercials right afterwards. Not wicked awesome at all.

I'm Back and the Wings are too

Sorry it's been so long everybody (and by everybody I mean the four people that might actually read this). You can attribute my long break from writing to forgetfulness and laziness. From now on I'm going to try to keep my posts shorter, as opposed to writing the 6 page anti-Bettman manifestos that make up my previous work.

First - gotta talk about the no goal call. I was so mad I couldn't sleep for hours, but after some thought and watching the replay in the morning, I'm not as upset. The ref was in the right position, and made the right call to blow it dead. What really burns a hole in my pantyhose is that the call was not reviewable. The other on ice official should be able to overrule such a call if he had a better angle, and all those cameras should have been put to use in Toronto. I still think hockey is the most difficult game to officiate, so much respect to the refs. However they're human, they make mistakes, and they should be able to review goal calls like this (for the love of God though, do not use replay for penalties and other stuff, just goals.)

Second - glad to see the Wings finally show up and start playing hockey again for three periods. I saw glimmers of hope in that third period in game three, but for the first time the Winged Wheelers had their foot on the gas the whole game. They finished their checks, set the tone for the game, and more importantly they crashed the net. During the past couple games, the Wings turned into the hockey equivalent of a jumpshooting basketball team. Sure they got a bunch of shots on Hiller, but they were weak and easy for him to see.

Third - really happy to have Marian Hossa going now. You could see the "about time" look of relief on his face while he celebrated his first goal. In Rod Allen terms, he had been scuffeling all series, and maybe was starting to press a bit. It's good that he got the scoreless in this series monkey off his back, and I hope Datsyuk with his eyes by Dr. Rahmani gets it going soon too.

Quick Hits - So most of the actors from the Mighty Ducks have not gone on to win Oscars, but you still see them around. The Captain Charlie Conway, played by Joshua Jackson, has gone on to play Pacy in Dawsons Creek and now has a part on Fringe. Jesse Hall, played by Brandon Quintin Adams, also appeared in one of the greatest baseball movies ever, The Sandlot (he's the pitcher that throws the heater.) You even see Goldberg in that Castrol commercial where he orders fries and a shit ton of oil falls on his car. However, the imdb connection that stunned me was realizing that my beloved Connie Moreau, played by Marguerite Moreau, grew up to play the call girl Vicky in Mad Men (Season 2, ep. 4, Three Sundays.) Connie got hot.

Since when is Ed Hochuli reffing NHL playoff games?

The NHL needs to do something about quick whistles. For the most part, they are harmless, but when they start costing teams playoff games, something has to be done. In last night's Red Wings/Ducks game, it should have been as simple as going to the replay, which clearly showed that the puck was still loose when the whistle was blown, and then giving Marian Hossa his goal and sending the game into overtime. Watching the replay, it wasn't a situation where play stopped right at the whistle and Hossa scored because everyone else had stopped playing. Everyone on the ice except the men in black and white saw that the puck was still alive and kept on playing.

This error is frighteningly Hochuli-esque. In fact, it's exactly the same issue. The referee made an incorrect call and blew the whistle too early, screwing one team out of a game-altering play. So why can't the NHL just fix this the same way the NFL has? Instruct referees to wait on the whistle until they are absolutely sure that they play is dead. If a goal is scored and there's a question that the puck may have been covered, go to the replay. Like I said before, when a bad rule starts costing teams playoff games, it needs to be fixed. As much as I hate to rely on Gary Bettman for anything (I wouldn't trust that moron to deliver a fucking pizza to my house), it's on him to fix this problem. We're screwed.

Who the fuck is Jonas Hiller?

The Wings and Ducks will begin their Western Conference Semifinal on Friday and as I look over the lineups for both teams, I am left wondering only one thing: Who the fuck is Jonas Hiller? What happened to the days of Mighty Ducks (yes, they were still mighty back then) goaltenders with goofy French-Canadian names? Where are Jean-Sebastien Giguere and Guy Hebert? Seriously though, outside of this Hiller fella, these Ducks look all too familiar. The Niedermayers and their magnificent playoff beards, Getzlaf, Perry, Pronger, and the ageless Teemu Selanne headline for the Ducks, just as the did a few years ago, when the Ducks knocked the Red Wings out of the playoffs. They are feeling great, coming off an upset of the Joe Thornton (hockey's answer to Arod) and playing a team that they have beaten in the past. One might think that these Ducks would be primed to make this upset...

That said, the Ducks are not going to be able to push the Red Wings around like they did the Sharks. The Wings have always been widely considered a finesse team, and they certainly don't drop the gloves as often as some other squads, but that doesn't mean that they aren't tough. Most of the time, the Wings choose not to throw their weight around, because they don't have to. The Wings are the most skilled team in the league and smartly, they play to their strength. But do not confuse skill and speed with a lack of toughness. There is no team with more playoff experience than this Red Wings team, and consequently, no team with more collective mental (and testicular, for that matter) fortitude. This makes me think that this series might be shorter than the experts think. The Red Wings are clearly the more talented team, they know it, and they will act accordingly. There are absolutely no distractions. The Wings are in the familiar role of Stanley Cup favorite, there is no other juggernaut left in the Western Conference, so there is nothing for the Wings to look ahead to, and although the Wings and Ducks have played in the playoffs before, there really isn't much of a rivalry factor in this series.

Although these two organizations (please use the Canadian pronunciation) have battled in the playoffs in the past, the animosity isn't exactly bubbling over. This isn't Wings/Avs in the late 90's. The Ducks have no Claude Lemieux or Patrick Roy to serve as a target for the ire and octopi of Red Wing fans. The Wings/Ducks conflict is simply familiarity, with a light dusting of dislike. Early on, the Ducks will try to escalate the rivalry and turn this series into cage fight, because they know it's the only way they can win. A lesser team might get sucked into a fist fight, but Mike Babcock will not allow his Red Wings to lose their focus. After a tough Game 1, the Wings will establish themselves as the superior team and take control. I see this series turning out just like the '97 Conference Semifinal between the Wings and the then-Mighty Ducks. The Ducks forced three of the four games into overtime, but were still swept. I don't see a sweep coming in this series, but I think Detroit takes out Anaheim in a hard-fought 5 games.

Bring on the Blackhawks.

Ken Holland is the Greatest GM Ever

By Pete McGrath

Back in college, the only people who seemed to care about hockey were the guys on the JCU Bluestreak's club hockey team. They were pretty good buddies of mine and they were the only guys in my whole dorm that I could talk hockey with. Whenever an argument would come up about the Red Wings, they usually lumped my beloved Red Wings into the same catagory as the eeeevil New York Yankees. The simalarities did exist, with the limitless payroll (78 million bucks for a hockey team!) and the ability to always land one more all-star at the trade deadline.

However, the comparason at the time was not completely accurate. While the Yankees by far and away had the highest payroll in baseball, the Wings payroll was pretty close to the Rangers, who never went anywhere. I also pointed out that as much as the wings spend on free agent players, the core of those Wings teams were homegrown guys. Yzerman, Fedorov, and Lidstrom were all drafted and developed by the Wings. After the lockout, it seemed the Wing's party was going to be over. Kenny Holland was good at putting a team together, but it seemed like anybody could with Illitch's wide open checkbook. Now that the salary cap would be in place, the Wings would have to draft and develop their team from within, and would have a tougher time keeping guys around. Man did I underestimate Ken Holland.

Datsyuk, Lidstrom, and Hank Zetterberg are all locked up for the forseable future. There is a possibility of enough room for Franzen and Hossa to stick around. While certain players might have to retire or get traded, I have the full confidence that Ken Holland has the players in his farm system to replace them. The next generation of Val Filpula, Jiri Hudler, Datsyuk and Zetterberg type players are probably already working on their game in Grand Rapids.

What this man has accomplished is astounding. With a payroll that was practically cut in half, he has rebuilt the Wings into the dominant team in the league. Plus this was accomplished without a Florida Marlins style fire sale. There is no other GM in sports with this strong a resume.

Winter Classic

The NHL has done well two years in a row now in regards to the Winter Classic. Wrigley Field may not have had the best sight lines, but I don't think anybody in the crowd cared.

I do consider myself a uniform buff, and both teams looked really sharp this year in the throwback sweaters. The Olde-English D was a nice toss up to the Wings history before they were the Red Wings- they were actually the Detroit Cougars at the time. The Wings unis were completed by some pretty kickass bumble bee socks. Hopefully in the future, the Wings don these and the old Detroit Falcons jerseys for a couple games a year. The Hawks jerseys looked sharp as well, with the big chest stripe and the old school logo crest. Even the coaches on both clubs got into the act, wearing old fasioned looking varsity jackets. However, the best dressed not has to go to the Red Wing's bench. As much as I love Coach Babcock's gloriously blowdried coif, it was a really nice touch to wear the fedoras. Hopefully they bought them at Henry the Hatter.

I initially was upset at the league for putting the game on New Years Day, but I now think it was great idea. New Years is a day where nobody is at work, and everyone is at home hungover and looking for something to do. If you're a hockey fan, you're going to watch anyway. If you're normally a football fan, you might stumble upon the game for the first time and see how cool it is. My only question is if maybe the league should make it an all day thing, such as the NFL's Thanksgiving lineup. This way you have all day to capture the channel surfers, and more cities are involved.

In conclusion, it seems the NHL has a hit on its hands. It's a cool idea, and for once under Gary Bettman's reign of terror an event has been marketed well. I raise an ice cold Labatt to the NHL for this one.

NHL vs. Versus

By Pete McGrath

Just watched the Wings lose to the Avalanche on Versus. While losing is never fun, I really hated having to watching them lose on Versus. The fact that the NHL isn’t on ESPN is one of the most inexplicable blunders of the Bettman reign of terror. While my biggest gripe is of course the fact that ESPN is so widely available, the Versus broadcast itself pisses me off for so many other reasons.

Leading off, the main camera on Versus is always too close to the ice. I realize the rationale in getting closer to the play- easier to see the players and easier to see the puck. However, this makes it hard to see the play develop. It’s hard to catch the precision of the tape to tape cross ice pass with this zoom in effect. In this day and age, most people have pretty nice TVs, so seeing the puck is not the problem people make it out to be. This is not to say I don’t mind the occasional on ice angle shot. With those shots, you get to see up close the speed and violence of the game. In fact I wish all sports showed more of these. It gives you a front row seat in your living room or local bar.

Doc Emrick, the announcer who growls his Rs, drives me up the wall. He’s always like “Lidstrom with a drrrrrrrive from the blue line that sails wide.” So many announcers out there think by growling the Rs it gets people excited. Not me. I suggest the league lets the local guys call the game. I would much rather hear Mickey and Ken call the game than those two clowns, or anyone in the World Series besides Tim McCarver. Also, it would be cool to hear out of town broadcasters call the occasional Wings game. I had MLB TV a few years back to watch the Tigers games while I was away at college, and I always enjoyed hearing the Boston guys or Vin Scully’s take on the game. Could’ve done without Hawk and DJ though.

Lastly, the ‘in studio’ portion of the broadcast leaves much to be desired, although it is much improved from their first year. The set Versus used the first year looked like it was constructed for a public access channel, and made the whole league look second rate. Luckily the NHL was able to side step that land mine by having their games on Versus, so nobody saw it. The set now looks alright, although not as good as TNT’s, CBC’s, or ESPN’s.

Now let’s get to the guys behind the set. Keith Jones always sits somewhat sideways, which is a annoying, and provides serviceable analysis at best. Brian Engblom fails miserably in his attempts to be a poor man’s Barry Melrose, both in his skill as a broadcaster and his pitiful excuse for a mullet. There are so many talented hockey guys over on ESPN, and they need to be the centerpiece of the NHL’s broadcast team. Steve Levy, Linda Cohn, John Buccigross (who writes a kickass column by the way), and Barry Melrose all know the game and are much better personalities on camera.

Lastly, for the love of God, get Don Cherry on TV in America.

If I ran the NHL Part Tetris

By Pete McGrath

Moving from French to Russian this week on the name, I figured I should give some other countries besides French Canada some love. While I've covered cities, sweaters, and TV deals, I have not covered the actual on ice product. That's what I'll cover this time.

I have to tie up some loose ends though from my last post however. As I said last time, it is pivotal that the NHL expands the TV footprint of the game. One of the best ways to do this is to PUT THE GAMES ON TV!!!!! Currently, due to the leagues broadcast agreement with VS., local broadcasts cannot be shown, even if your club isn't on the Versus schedule. That twelve year old in D.C. with the Ovechkin poster on the wall needs to be able to see his favorite player on TV. Also, the league needs to be more proactive in cases like Chicago, when Bill Wirtz refused to broadcast home games when the United Center wasn't sold out. Which leads to my next point.

Last time I suggested a pay to play system for the Stanley Cup to ramp up the intensity on the ice. Also I suggested a promotional stunt of having the money on the ice for the presentation. That idea was pretty unpopular, but I think people missed the point. I also wanted owners to pay up at the beginning, with the thought process that the financial incentive to win will eliminate the league's shitty absentee owners. While maybe the ante up/pay to play idea isn't a winner, I think all leagues should adopt what I'll call the Wirtz-Sterling rule (named for Donald Sterling of LA Clippers fame.) The rule should be that if an owner has shown a pattern of poorly operating a franchise, then they should have to sell the team. I think ten-fifteen years is a fair judgement call in this case. The Blackhawks play in the second biggest market after Toronto, but they are an afterthought in that city because of the Wirtz family's poor ownership. A strong Chicago franchise is important for any league, and the NHL needs to be more proactive in the future.

Shitty owners aside, the league needs to fix the shcedule. Every club should play each other at least twice. After the Stanley Cup last year, the Wings-Penguins match up should be a hot ticket in Pittsburgh. However, there is not Wings-Pens game in Pittsburgh, which is stupid. The league shouldn't try to create division rivalries where there are none- (I have a tough time getting amped up for Wings-Blue Jackets six times a year) A schedule set up like the NBA's would be fine. As it stands now, the Wings only play the Leafs, Habs, Bruins and Rangers once a year. Those original six match ups deserve at least two games. Also, to pick up the intensity of some games, add more home and home series. Home and homes allows the hatred from the night before to still be fresh in a player's mind, boiling over to the next game creating a more intense match up. How cool would it be to see Wings-Habs home and home, for the fans and the players?

The league has made some positive rule changes to combat the boring New Jersey style trap of the 90s. To me, hockey is the ultimate players game. Not to say good coaching isn't necessary, but hockey coaches cannot call in the pitches, nor can they signal in or draw up set plays. The league was heading in a dangerous direction for a while, but I think they righted the ship with some key rule changes. Most importantly, they brought back the tag-up rule for offsides. I like the no line change rule after icing, and I never liked the two line pass rule. Clutching and grabbing had to go as well. I'm glad the league let the players who can skate play. But they also need to make sure the league doesn't lose it's toughness. Also, I must say the shootout is pretty cool. I thought it was stupid before they had it, but now I am converted. I would rather five shooters go than three, but it's a cool way to end a regular season game.

That being said, the league better not think about touching the sudden death/golden goal OT in the playoffs. There is nothing more intense that playoff hockey, and nothing puts me on the edge more than overtime in the playoffs. The best way to improve the regular season is to try get the intensity to that playoff level. Obviously unlimited sudden death OT is a stupid idea during the regular season, but why not get rid of the OT loss and make every shootout either 2 points or zero. That way clubs wouldn't sit back and play for the 1 point at the end of regulation, but would play hard for the win.

The league has to ease up on their fighting rules. I remember when it would be Wings-Leafs in the early 90s, and as much as I wanted to see Yzerman and Gilmour match up, I really wanted to see Domi and Probert drop the gloves. First of all, nobody gets up for popcorn during a fight. Fights are cool to watch (as the popularity of MMA and Ultimate Fighting shows). Hockey fights have always been much more honorable than other sport's fights- no one spiking anybody (Marcus Vick) and no sucker punches then running away (Carmelo Anthony). Hockey players fight face to face. Hockey fights also ratchet up the intensity of a game, and can give a club something to rally around. The Wings kicked off that Stanley cup run in 97 by beating the crap out of the Avs at Joe Louis in a late regular season game. I think fights are a necessary evil in a way as well. I do not want there to be bench clearing brawls every night, but a good fight to get the bad blood out is ok. I also believe that there would be less cheap shots if fights were legal, because players would eventually have to answer to an enforcer. Let the players police their own game- because while a millionaire isn't going to care about a fine, a punch in the face still hurts no matter how much money you're making. Long story short, Gordie Howe hat tricks are good for hockey.

The league should also go back to the three official system. With players being as big and fast as they are now, it gets crowded out there with four other skaters. Also, you have one official with a close view of the play not making the call, and the guy far away from the play calling a penalty. That really burns a hole in my panty hose. Perhaps give linesman a little more power, but please go back to three officials. Also, at certain times the league takes safety too far. It is a crime against all of my fashion principles that something as glorious as Kerry Fraser's hair is now underneath a helmet. In the NHL's Mount Rushmore of beautiful flowing manes of hair, Kerry Fraser's immovable bouffant helmet doo is a definite shoo in. For the record, I nominate Barry Melrose, Marc Crawford, and Mike Babcock to also be blow-dried, combed, and sprayed into stone. If they let him go helmetless however, the league should probably buy carbon credits to offset all the CO2 and make Kerry Fraser officiated games more environmentally friendly.

The league should also empower officials to call the diving penalty more often. While hockey will never be like soccer, where players fake injuries for calls all the time, I wouldn't mind seeing the occasional player get thrown into the box for a dive.

When it comes to goalies, I have some gripes with the rules. Let the goalies play the puck- that stupid trapezoid thing doesn't really do anything. Also, if goalies play the puck more, they often time create chances/goals by sending an awkward pass up the boards (think Osgood against the Sharks). Passing with goalie equipment is hard, so let goalies screw up and create scoring chances that way. I also hate the delay of game penalty for sending a puck over the glass. I find that rule arbitrary and stupid, and it's not like that was a problem in the league prior to the rule change.

As much as Sean Avery drives me up the wall, I thought his screen against Brodeur was hilarious and should remain legal. What was illegal about it? While annoying, he also can't see the puck behind him so he can't make a deflection, nor can he get out of the way of a shot, meaning it's not a perfect play. Also, that's when a defenceman on the Devils needs to get the sand out of his vagina and knock him on his ass. Once again, let the players police their own game. Brodeur should have cussed out his defencemen after that play because they should've taken care of the matter in front themselves.

One last thing, I firmly believe in the touch up icing rule. I realize it takes longer, and I realize that every other league the play is blown dead after the puck crosses the goal line. But that rule separates the men from the boys to me. Much like getting both feet down in the NHL, the longer three point line in the NBA, and wood bats in MLB, I think this is a rule that separates the amateurs from the pros. Plus when a game is close, seeing two players hustle down the ice going after the puck is fun to watch, and shows who wants it more.

That's it for now. Next time I'll cover some other stuff that I forgot.

If I ran the NHL Part Trois

By Pete McGrath

This edition will cover some of the league's marketing and its TV Deals. Through the years I've always heard people say about hockey on TV "But I can't see the puck." Nothing made me cringe as much as those words (until I saw the stupid light up puck the league tried out). I don't follow that logic. I have never had that problem my entire hockey watching life. So if you can't see the puck, I am not writing this for you.

The NHL has always been a distant fourth in the four major professional team sports in the United States. What the NFL shows every league out there is that dragging your season out all year is not the key to success. The NFL thrives on TV money because every game is a big deal, and seeing as how their TV contract is bigger than all of hockey's revenue put together, it safe to say they were right. So what the NHL needs to do is get more people to watch the game, both in person and more importantly on TV (that's where the money really is). Here are my ideas.

First thing the NHL needs to do is grow the game at a grassroots level. I went to college in Cleveland, and I was shocked at how little people knew about hockey there. Steve Yzerman who is basically canonized here in Detroit is unheard of in Cleveland. People who are rabid Browns, Indians, and Cavs fans (it's not that they don't like sports) literally do not know who he is. Aside from the occasional Sabres fan, the only people that cared about hockey that were not from Detroit were people that had actually played the game through high school.

For this reason, I believe the best thing the league can do for its long term success is get kids to play hockey. Kids in America usually play Little League as a right of passage, high school football is a big deal all over the country, and often people play at least intramural basketball through their college years. The NHL needs to sponsor and facilitate the construction of as many rinks and the formation of as many youth leagues as possible. In Canada, the game of choice is always hockey, weather its watching or playing. The United States will never be as hockey crazy as Canada, but part of the reason people appreciate their NHL clubs so much in Canada, Minnesota, Detroit, and other Northern American cities is that a large part of the populous played the game "back in the day," or still plays in a weekend beer league. Long story short, the nicest arena in America occasionally full of fans won't be worth much in the long run if there aren't a bunch of little rinks in the area full of kids playing the game.

Getting back to putting the game on TV, the NHL made a terrible mistake by signing the TV contract with Versus. Versus is rookieball compared to ESPN. The camera is too close to the ice,
the set looks like a high school doing the video announcements, and Brian Engbloom's mullet sucks compared to Barry Melrose's. Mullets notwithstanding, the global reach of ESPN is simply incredible. ESPN's brand name is worth more than any other channel out there. ESPN is in every basic cable package, is on in every sports bar, and every college guy's dorm room is tuned to ESPN. Versus simply isn't always available.

I realize that Versus offered 60 Million year instead of revenue sharing- but that comes out to 2 million a team, which is for all practical purposes pocket change. This is like turning down the unpaid internship at the best company in your field to work for McDonald's and make some money. Yeah you get a little money upfront, but you are killing your future. Get back on ESPN because that way fans who have never seen you before might. People watching something else on ESPN like Sports Center might forget to change the channel and give hockey a shot. Versus generally has hunting shows on all day, so the NHL isn't getting a whole lot of lead in viewers. Also, Versus simply isn't as widespread channel as ESPN. Any basic cable package has ESPN and ESPN 2. The same cannot be said for Versus, which has left a lot of people who actually want to watch hockey shit out of luck because their cable package does not carry the channel. In conclusion, the NHL needs to pad its resume and take its unpaid internship. The exposure gained from being on ESPN can only help the league.

The league needs to realize that it shouldn't try to out NBA the NBA. Instead the league should embrace and market those quirky things that make the NHL and its players so great. One of my favorite traditions in hockey is the playoff beard. However, come playoff time you hardly ever hear about it. They should market the hell out of this. My product placement gears were turning on this one- why don't they have Gillette sponsor a contest for the best beard in the playoffs? That seems like a no brainer for me.

I was also upset when Bettman changed the Wales and Campbell conference to East and West, along with directional names for the divisions as well. I thought it was cool that the divisions were named after people, and it was unique to hockey. While they can keep the current alignment of teams, think of two people to name two divisions after and bring the old way back. If anything it'll put the league in the news for a bit and will generate publicity just like David Stern did with the NBA dress code a few years back.

These days, when I watch a baseball team celebrate in the locker room I can't tell if they won their division or the World Series. However, hockey players know whats up. They don't touch the Campbell Bowl or the Wales Trophy, because the Stanley Cup is the only true championship. The league needs to let the folks out there know about this great superstition. Market the conference championships as the "Don't Touch the Trophy/Bowl" series.

The NBA is expanding aggressively throughout the world, and the NHL needs to do the same. I don't think the league needs to put teams in different countries, because due to travel that wouldn't be prudent. Players will go to play in the league with the best competition, and that will be the NHL for some time. For example, while Brazil and Argentina produce the world's best soccer players, and their national teams compete for the World Cup (and win it often), nearly all of the players play professionally in Europe. So I do not foresee the need for European teams in hockey (or basketball for that matter).

What the NHL could do though is have each NHL team partner up with a European or Asian city and play a series of games there before the season begins. It would be like having a sister city or a pen-pal for fans from both towns. Have each club play two or three games in one city, that way people can connect to one team, and this way the league can really expand its international footprint. The league already has international players, why not make more money off the international fans.

Back here in America, the league should do something similar by playing more neutral site games, or have some teams have a secondary city. The example that always comes to mind is Green Bay playing one game in Milwaukee every year. Obviously clubs like Detroit, Montreal, Toronto, etc, do not need to do this. However, it would be good for Columbus (if they don't move the team) to maybe play a couple games a season in Cleveland or Cincinnati. Maybe have the Blues play a couple games a year in Kansas City, the Kings in San Diego, the Sharks in Portland etc. If you're having trouble filling up your arena, you might as well take your act on the road where the novelty of a pro hockey game might give you a sellout at the gate. Also, you can get people in those cities to become fans of your club as well, selling more merchandise and getting more people to watch the games on TV.

The league needs to also think a little outside the box in terms of marketing. I got this idea from the World Series of Poker. Relatively speaking the winner's share of any modern trophy really isn't that much (compared to their contracts). For instance, the winner's share of the World Series Trophy was $308,235.75. Now three hundred grand ain't bad, but for guys with the contracts they have now that's chump change. Here's the idea, the league should have every team, and perhaps the NHLPA, ante up for the right to play for the cup in the beginning of the season. Have a couple sponsors (I'm talking about you Labatt) match the money, so this way the winner's share is around 3-4 million bucks per player. And no losers share either- just like the superstition says, conference championship does not count, only by winning the Stanley Cup are you a true champion. I realize that the Cup itself should be a worthy enough goal for any player, but this is really meant to motivate the owners just as much as the players. There are many owners that are doing a terrible job running their teams and are happy to just sit back and collect the revenue sharing. They won't be anymore. Lastly, World Series of Poker style, try to bring all the cash out on the ice as a photo op. I really feel this would be a great publicity stunt for the league, and will help the league out on the operational level by getting more teams to compete as well.

The league needs to do a better job of promoting its video games. While NHL 94 on Sega is widely considered to be a masterpiece, the games since have failed to have that sort of crossover success. Video games are big business these days, and hockey is a sport that translates very well to video games. The league needs to use its flagship game as one of its chief marketing tools the way the NFL does with Madden. If you're not going to play the sport, you should at least play the video game. Also, for an old school guy like me, package the most modern game with an emulator for the 94 version with today's players and rosters. Show the pizza boy/Sega scene from Swingers in the commercial then cut to a similar scene of guys hanging out and giving each other shit playing the modern game, and give a tag about how hanging with the guys never changes no matter what game you're playing.

Also, put Don Cherry on TV. People in Detroit and Buffalo love watching Ron McLean try to keep Don in check. Weather people love Don Cherry or think he's a moron, people still watch Coach's Corner. Also, I love his Fu Manchu playoff beards and crazy suits. Some of what he says I don't agree with, but there is no question that he cares deeply about hockey. Also, in a world of vanilla sportscasters, Don Cherry is refreshing as someone who speaks his mind. Perhaps the NHL should name it's aforementioned video game franchise after Don Cherry. Perhaps EA Sports should call the game Rock 'em Sock 'em Hockey. Just a thought.

Anywho, that's all I got for now. I'll cover game rules, rivalries and schedules next time.

If I Ran the NHL Part Deux

By Pete McGrath

NHL Sweaters and Mascots Edition

As the NHL has expanded a lot recently, I think choosing cool team names and designing effective logos is key to getting a town to rally around its team, and the NHL’s poor choices has hampered their progress in certain cities. I’m going to go team by team in this column and provide my two cents on their mascot/team colors/jerseys/logo/ and feel free to comment.

I am old school when it comes to uniforms in sports. I believe in simple uniforms, simple color combinations, and simple logos that stand the test of time.
Here are some pitfalls that many uniforms fall into:

Too Many Colors- Pick two colors for your team color and stick with them. Notre Dame, the Yankees, the Lakers, and the Celtics have simple color schemes, and that’s why their unis work.

The house team effect- If you’ve ever played house hockey, one year your sweater might be green, while the next year it might be blue, so it was always prudent to buy black pants and gloves. However at the NHL level, you should be able to afford gear that matches your jersey.

Black proliferation- If black was not originally one of your two colors, do not all the sudden make it one. Do not make it part of your jerseys piping or trim. Also, the black alternate jersey thing has become a bit tiresome. This is kind of similar to the house team effect.

The Rbk system effect. Reebok re-designed a lot of jerseys recently, adding stupid piping at the top of the sweaters and taking the trim off the bottom. Trim on the bottom is important though, because hockey sweaters are meant to be un-tucked. With no trim on the bottom it looks like an un-tucked button down dress shirt- A.K.A. bad.

The Clip art effect- When a logo is obviously computer generated, and looks cheaply done; like a school kid doing a project for class. Clip art logos generally have too many colors as well, corresponding to an earlier pitfall.

Generic/stupid mascots- A cool mascot to me is one that embraces the town’s heritage or is unique in general. Not one that sounds focused grouped or like an arena football team.

Teal- Teal sucks.

Without further adieu, here are the teams:

Anaheim Ducks – I remember when I first saw the jerseys in D2, back when the team was the Mighty Ducks. While I’m glad the team is just the Ducks now and have gotten rid of that terrible early nineties color combo of purple and teal, the current uni’s could use some work. The logo is still a bit cartoony and cheesy. However, at least Charlie Conway doesn’t have to take on the Hawks and Iceland wearing this anymore.

Atlanta Thrashers – I for a while was of the belief that the team name Thrashers was stupid. However, upon doing research I’ve learned that the Thrasher is the state bird of Georgia and was selected by the fans, so I guess that can stay. But the logo and the current jerseys got to go. The logo has too many colors for it to be effective, and it too falls into that clip arty category. The jerseys, with the word Atlanta going down one shoulder are terrible, and the person who designed them should be shot.

Boston Bruins – Any original six team automatically has a cool mascot to me. This team is a case study of why you only need two colors besides white. The simple color scheme and simple logo is all you need. Also, give the club kudos for the new alternate jerseys with the throwback logo.

Buffalo Sabres - I was glad to see they got rid of the black and red jerseys from the 90s. But the Sabres really need to go back to their old logo of the crossed swords with a buffalo in the middle. Simple, effective, with a unique color combination of blue and yellow made their old jersey a beauty. The current slug/Donald Trump’s hair logo is stupid. Also, get rid of the dumb pit stripes, and give me the jersey that Pat Lafontaine wore.

Calgary Flames – Flames is a solid name for a team, and the flaming C logo is effective as well. However, this is a classic example of black getting in the way of a perfectly fine uniform. The black pants and gloves make the club look like a house team, and the black trim is obnoxious. Go back to the red and yellow uni’s of Mike Vernon’s day (or at least give me an update). Also, maybe have some fun with the trim. Maybe have flame trim at the bottom of the jersey or on the socks.

Carolina Hurricanes – I really wish there weren’t so many weather related mascot’s in this league, but of the three I like the Hurricanes the best. The logo is really simple, and has only two colors. I could do without their current alternate jerseys. The triangle behind the logo is stupid, and the hockey stick flagpole looks dumb as well. I like where their heads at though with the hurricane flag idea for an alternate logo, but that is actually a gale flag. Tweak this a bit, put it on a red jersey, and it could work. The black jersey thing is a little played out at this point.

Chicago Blackhawks – Great mascot, great logo, great alternate logo, great jerseys, even cooler throwback jerseys, and as a Wings fan, it pains me to say this, but I think they have the best unis in the league.

Colorado Avalanche – To go from the Quebec Nordiques’s kickass unis to this ugly ass uniform was a disaster. They have maroon and blue with jerseys, maroon and blue and grey socks, but black gloves, pants, and helmets making them a victim of the house team effect and the too many colors effect. The logo is kind of clip arty as well, but at the same time I don’t have any better ideas for an avalanche logo. The trim on the jerseys really needs to be fixed up though. Maybe they could just start all over and name the team the Colorado Turtles.

Columbus Blue Jackets – I always assumed a blue jacket was a type of bumblebee, and never understood why their logo has all the stars on it. Evidently the Blue Jacket name comes from the Civil War soldiers from Ohio, which actually makes it a decent mascot if the logo reflected this. They need to make this part of the logo and embrace the civil war heritage (it would be nice to see a northern based Civil War mascot to combat the Rebels and Vols of the world). If that doesn’t work, just change the team name to the Buckeyes to fool Columbusians into showing up to the games.

Dallas Stars – Not a bad mascot, not bad colors, but it just could’ve been so much cooler. Remember, this team is descendant from one of the all time great team names in sports, the Minnesota North Stars. While I really think it was the height of stupidity for the NHL to move a team out of Minnesota, I will give Dallas its props for embracing its team and hockey as a sport. But how cool would it have been if they were the Dallas Lone Stars, not just the Stars?

Detroit Red Wings – Number two in the league for my money- a great simple logo with just two colors and a simple jersey design. This jersey just shows how less is more sometimes. All logo designers and jersey color picker outers need to pay attention to this jersey.

Edmonton Oilers – A good mascot that makes sense in the oil rich area of Edmonton. The logo has always been simple and effective to me, but I could do without the piping on their current jerseys. They changed from blue and orange to navy and burnt orange a few years back, but word on the street is that they’re wearing their old throwback unis for a few games. I think they should go back to these all the time because after all, if you won five cups in them, why change the unis?

Florida Panthers – A middle of the road mascot, and not a bad logo. The red, navy and gold color scheme is a bit busy however. Just black and white would look pretty badass if you ask me.

Los Angeles Kings – The LA Kings have a solid mascot with a solid color scheme. Purple is the color of royalty after all. The current crown logo isn’t bad, but I have to say I liked the coat of arms logo they just changed from a little bit better.

Minnesota Wild – This team name sort of prompted this column. What the fuck is a Wild? Evidently it’s some saber tooth tiger shaped thing with trees on it, which looks eerily similar to the Nashville logo. They should’ve gone with the Minnesota Fighting Saints as a tribute to the WHA team, or furthermore stuck it to Dallas for moving by calling the team the North Stars. Anything but the Wild- it sounds like an Arena Football League team. Once again, there are two many colors and too much crap going on in the logo. Get rid of the gold, change the logo, and change the team name. However, the Wild’s success (every single game sold out) despite their atrocious logo and sometimes lackluster play on the ice illustrates the need for the league to put teams in hockey cities, and further proves my theory from my last post.

Montreal Canadiens – Great team name, great logo, great sweater, no further discussion or links needed.

Nashville Predators – Predators isn’t a bad mascot, but it’s very generic. Once again I wish the league did a better job of embracing a city’s culture and was more creative with the team mascot. Nashville is known for its music, so the Nashville Musicians or something along those lines would’ve been pretty cool. The uniform is a bit busy for my tastes, and I won’t even bother providing a link to the deplorable alternate jersey.

New Jersey Devils – This club made a wise decision changing its colors from green and red to black and red. The Christmas decorations ensemble did not look very tough, and was kind of contradictory to naming the club the Devils. The logo is actually deceptively cool. The NJ with the stylized horns and tail is simple but nicely done.

NY Islanders – This is one of the cooler team names in the league. Jets, Mets, and Islanders fans are generally Long Island folks, so the team name and the logo really embraces the community. There was a brief period where the club fell victim to the teal craze of the nineties, but now their unis are for the most part back on track. Once again, the uniform is a little busy with the lines on the shoulders, but I can live with that. The Chevron patch on the shoulder representing the club's four Stanley Cups is really cool. In any event, I guess a solid uniform still does not prevent you from signing Alexei Yashin to a terrible contract.

NY Rangers – Once again it’s an Original Six team, so of course the unis and the team name are cool. The classic Rangers script across the front of the sweater hasn’t been changed in years, and it doesn’t need to be. The alternate sweater has to go though. A marquis franchise with classic uniforms should not have to resort to selling alternate jerseys. Also, extra kudos for pulling off the collar laces so well.

Ottawa Senators – The league had the right idea for this club by reviving the Senators mascot from back in the day. The color scheme of red and black works well, and I liked the original logo as well. While technically speaking the logo is of a Centurion, not a Senator, it still fits and was a good logo. The new logo is a bit cartoony to me. Also, once again the pit stripes have got to go. A team with an old school crest and an old school history deserves a simple straightforward jersey. This old bumblebee sweater isn’t have bad either.

Philadelphia Flyers – The logo and the mascot are classics. They’re original and name rolls off the tongue because it features alliteration. I have one request- go back to the orange jerseys. The black jersey is very played out, and the orange was sharp and unique– very few clubs in any sport have orange jerseys. Plus you can’t see the black logo on the black background.

Phoenix Coyotes – While I do mind hockey in Phoenix, I do not mind the mascot or the team colors. The Coyotes wisely changed their color scheme from black, green, red, tan, and a bunch of other colors on the crest to a simple dark red and white. The logo is also much simpler and better. This may come as a surprise thought but I actually liked their old Native American style trim on the old sweater (just the trim though). I thought it was unique to the team and a cool tribute to the Native population in the area. This sweater also fell victim to the RBK edge uniform though by losing its bottom of the jersey trim. Fix that, and you got a really cool jersey, but I would rather this team move back to Winnipeg.

Pittsburgh Penguins – Pittsburgh has a cool thing going with all their clubs being black and gold in color scheme, in tribute to the City of Pittsburgh’s flag. This club did a terrible thing when they got rid of the skating penguin logo for the more streamlined flying penguin logo with the stripes. Just like how Pat the Patriot is cooler than the Flying Elvis logo that the Patriots use on their helmets now, the skating penguin was better and needed to come back. It’s back, but the Penguin’s gold isn’t the yellow gold it used to be. They should go back to those colors to match the Steelers and Pirates, and add some trim at the bottom of the jersey.

San Jose Sharks – You can thank this team for kicking off the teal craze of the nineties. I loved seeing my beloved Pistons where teal. Thanks.

St. Louis Blues – One of the coolest and most unique mascots in all of sports. This team and the former New Orleans Jazz are the only two big league clubs named after a type of music. With their current sweater, they have shades of navy and royal blue. Pick a shade of blue, and stick with it. Also, maybe use those alternate jerseys with the Gateway Arch on the crest full time.

Tampa Bay Lightning – The last of the weather related mascot clubs in the league. Not a terrible name, but not that good of one. It would have been really cool to me if they did some sort of cigar related theme with Tampa being nicknamed Cigar City, but I guess that wouldn’t fly in this day and age. The logo itself is a little clip arty again, and I could do without the lightning bolts on the pants, but I can live with it. What I’m really pumped for is the new alternate sweater, which is blue instead of black, and features a script bolts across the chest like the Rangers jerseys. Nicknames and abbreviations on jerseys are always cool to me, and I like this jersey a lot.

Toronto Maple Leafs – A great mascot that is unique to hockey, a simple two color scheme (or should I say colour scheme), and a simple jersey. Simply timeless and classic, and no links required.

Vancouver Canucks – Every league has one I guess, Oregon in NCAA football, the Houston Astros in MLB, and of course the Vancouver Canucks in hockey. They have gone through more ugly uniforms than any other team in the league, and still haven’t gotten it right. The notorious V stripes, the Star Wars/spaghetti bowl/flying skate logo, the atrocious orca logo, and now back to the hockey rink logo with the atrocious orca logo with a script Vancouver over the top. This club just doesn’t get it, but they should go back to the ugly V stripe sweaters. At least those were so bad they were good. You Google the Canucks unis on your own- I’m getting lazy and I don’t want to find twenty links to all of their god-awful jerseys. By far and away the worst unis in the league.

Washington – I always liked the pick of Capitals as the team mascot- a solid nod to the team’s hometown. For the new Rbk unis, they did a really nice update of their old sweaters. The pit stripes for whatever reason look good on this sweater, and the team was wise enough to add some trim at the bottom of the jersey, which really makes them look like game jerseys, not practice jerseys. I think on this particular entry I proved that I am not a complete curmudgeon when it comes to jerseys.

While it was fun for me to come up with all the links and bullshit about all the unis/team names in the league, at the end of the day this series of entries is about the business end of the NHL. Strong mascot choices and merchandise sales are good business, and the league has done a poor job of making these choices over the years. Some choices have been missed opportunities, and some have been flat out awful. However, this is also one of the easiest things the league can fix. My next article will cover the league’s exposure on TV and marketing, which will be critical to the league’s future success.

If I Ran the NHL

By Pete McGrath

As a hockey fan, I will always watch my beloved Detroit Red Wings. However, the NHL still has its problems. This will be an ongoing series of my proposals for building a stronger NHL.

League Alignment/Team Locations

The NHL has made some questionable team location calls over the years. Cities that have a large hockey friendly populations (Minnesota’s twin cities, Quebec, Hartford, and Winnipeg) lost their teams. The league moved or added expansion franchises in many places with no snow and no history of ice hockey, and small cities at that. Here is my team-by-team analysis of which clubs need to move, and where they should go.

Columbus-

Ohio is not really a hockey state. Despite being up north, despite being close to Hockey loving cities like Pittsburgh, Buffalo, and Detroit, folks in Ohio pretty much think about football and the Buckeyes all the time. However, what really makes no sense about the Blue Jackets is putting it in a city with so much sports competition already there. Columbus is the home of The Ohio State University. OSU has a huge football program, and pretty high profile Hockey and Basketball programs all competing during the NHL’s season. Only the Bruins have more in city competition for Hockey fans dollars, and Boston has a much larger hockey fan base, and the Bruins have a much longer tradition. Columbus as a location was always a stumper for me.

Atlanta-

Atlanta is a terrible sports city. I think it has something to do with a lot of people recently moving there. People didn’t grow up Atlanta fans, so they really haven’t embraced any of their teams. The Braves have empty seats during the playoffs for crying out loud. The Thrashers need to be in a city that will truly embrace them, and Atlanta is not that city.

Florida-

Miami is a city that only cares about the Dolphins, and football in general. Sure people showed up for the Heat when Shaq was in town, but you could tell that the American Airlines center was packed with fair-weather fans. People in Miami can go to the beach, go to the club, go to fashion show, and if they do want to see sports, it’s football they want to see. In any event, the state of Florida does not need two hockey teams.

Nashville-

Nashville has fielded some decent teams over the past couple years. However, filling up their arena has been an uphill battle for the Predators. Nashville is a relatively small metro area with very little hockey history, and it shows. To be honest, I don’t see why the team was put here in the first place. There are lots of bigger metro areas with more hockey interest, and with better arenas that would have made more sense.

Anaheim/Los Angeles-

The Los Angeles metro area does not need two hockey teams. Los Angeles is not a good sports town. Dodger fans are known for showing up late and leaving early. If So Cal really cared about sports, wouldn’t they have an NFL team by now? Here’s the tough part- which team to move? Anaheim has had some success, but I highly doubt that anyone in Anaheim really cares. The Kings are the team that needs to stay in town. They play downtown at the Staples Center, and if they were halfway decent they could be somewhat of a glamour franchise of the league, much like the Lakers are for the NBA. While the NHL needs to have a presence in this market, they do not need two.

Phoenix-

The Coyotes have not really caught on in Phoenix, as with the rest of the clubs in town. Phoenix is seemingly western version of Atlanta- a growing city where no one is actually from there. Maybe people care about the Suns, but I doubt anyone gives a shit about the other teams. Hockey in the desert is just a stupid idea, and the club’s abysmal attendance record over the years makes the evidence very clear.

Carolina-

I never really understood this move. Hartford to Carolina seemed like a lateral if not a downgrade of a move by owner Peter Karmanos. To go from one small city in the North where it snows and people actually care about hockey to another small city in the South where people do not care about hockey (or know what it is) was a bit of a stumper to me. Carolina has hovered in the bottom half, usually the bottom third of league attendance even though the team brought home a cup. This points to a team that should relocate.

Where to?

Winnipeg-

A new arena downtown, a rabid and starved hockey fan base, and it’s in Canada where people actually care about hockey. If you ever saw the white outs the Jets fans pulled off in the playoffs, you knew this town loved its team. It has the arena now, so give them a shot. Phoenix had their chance and they blew it. Give Winnipeg their Jets back.

Hamilton-

Another city in Canada that would be a great fit for a big league club is Hamilton. While it’s close to Buffalo and Toronto, Hamiltonians used to have an NHL club way back in the day, and would assuredly embrace another if it moved to town. Once again while it’s a smaller area, it is in Canada where hockey is king and faces competition from no other sports. The arena would need renovation, but that wouldn’t be a problem here.

Cleveland-

If keeping a team in Ohio, Cleveland would be a better location because it is a bigger metropolitan area and would be more receptive to a professional club. Natural rivalries could be created with Pittsburgh, Detroit, and Buffalo. Also, this old Cleveland Barons logo is pretty cool. Perhaps an arrangement could be worked out where they play a few home games in Columbus and Cincinnati, much like the Packers playing a few home games in Milwaukee, which was successful in making the Packers not just Green Bay’s team but Wisconsin’s team. The Cleveland Barons need to become Ohio’s team, but they will always be second fiddle in Columbus to the Buckeyes. A nice arena in downtown Cleveland doesn’t hurt either.

Houston-

This may seem like a stupid idea to some, but hear me out. While Houston Texas is not exactly a hockey hotbed, Houston is actually a big city. If trying to expand the footprint of the league to cities that are not traditional hockey markets, they should at least be big markets. Houston is a large metro area full of cash and sponsorship opportunities from oil companies, and a nice arena is already in place. An interstate rivalry with Dallas could and should spring up. Name suggestions: Houston Aeros, the name of the current AHL team and former WHA team.

Portland-

Portland is an affluent, growing metro area with only one other professional team in town. Portland is not located in the middle of a desert. While town residents were weary of building a new stadium for a potential Florida Marlins move, it has an arena currently in place. This arena also has a cool name- the Rose Garden. Not a lot of people know this, but the Portland Rosebuds were the first American hockey team to compete for Lord Stanley’s Cup in 1915. Portland Rosebuds would be a cool name for the current team as well, as I think it would be nice to see a new team without some sort of stupid animal logo or natural disaster motif.

Seattle-

Seattle as a city gets a bad wrap. Many a columnist, including S.I.’s Rick Reilly, mailed in a “Seattle is a town of wine and latte drinking, Volvo driving, smug elitists especially up against blue collar archetype Pittsburgh” type column. But look at the music this town has given us – Jimi Hendrix (the best to ever pick a guitar up), Alice in Chains, Heart, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Duff McKagan of Guns’n’Roses, among many others. A town that rocks this hard would enjoy a hockey team, especially after the Sonics took off for Oklahoma City. Maybe Key Arena isn’t perfect, but within a few years, Seattle would probably be willing to renovate or build a new one. Another brief history lesson- while the Portland Rosebuds were the first American club to compete for the Stanley Cup, the Seattle Metropolitans a year later in the 1916 were the first American team to win it. One last bit of advice- try to get Bill Gates to own the team.

Kansas City-

Hockey tried and failed once in K.C. in the form of the Kansas City Scouts. While it didn’t work out in the seventies, Kansas City deserves another chance. Kansas City is a good sports town, with Arrowhead Stadium known for being one of the NFL’s loudest. I’m sure when the Royals were halfway decent, people showed up at Kauffman Stadium too. Anyway, the Sprint Center has been built downtown and the city does not have a tenant. This means any team that wishes to become the new Kansas City Scouts (please stick with that name) can hammer out a sweetheart lease, which is pivotal to any franchise’s success. Also, since there are no hoops teams in K.C., the hockey team will have winter sports options all to itself.
Thanks for reading. My next entry will be on team names/logos/jerseys and come with a ranking of NHL uniforms.