Odds and Ends from this Weekend

I’m not generally one to say, “I told you so”, but to the dude who called me an idiot when I wrote that Tony Romo is average and the most important stat in quarterbacking is Game-Altering Mistakes…HAH! Romo proved again this weekend that he is the most overrated player in the NFL because he routinely makes more mistakes than his team can afford. In a year when two rookie quarterbacks have led teams coming off of losing seasons to the playoffs, it’s fitting that Romo’s previously anointed Cowboys will spend the postseason at home. The impromptu trick play to Witten was fantastic, but that moment of quarterbacking brilliance cannot overcome two backbreaking fumbles and a game full of questionable decision-making. Yes, Tony Romo is still a very talented young player, and maybe he will eventually grow out of this turnover-prone phase, but in the meantime, Romo had better home that Jim Johnson and Steve Spangnuolo get head coaching jobs somewhere, because with the way he struggles against their pressure defenses, the Cowboys will never succeed consistently against in the NFC East.

Moving on…

From now on, I am just going to start referring to the Detroit Lions as “Baxter”. Every time that I think they have hit the pinnacle of embarrassment and ridiculousness, they eat a whole wheel of cheese and poop in the refrigerator. Today, the Lions promoted Tom Lewand and Martin Mayhew to President and General Manager, respectively, and in the immortal words of Ron Burgundy, “I’m not even mad, that’s amazing.” It really is nothing short of amazing that this team continues to operate as if it is being run by a blind three-legged dog. I am awestruck at the complete lack of vision, intelligence, common sense, and any other attribute that you might expect to find among the brain trust of a competent professional football organization.

I'm Worried...

It's official, I am legitimately worried about the Pistons, and myself. It's a bit too early to call this Iverson experiment a complete failure, but this season smells like 1-4 series loss to the Cavs in the second round. Strangely though, this is not what really worries me about this Pistons. As soon as the Iverson trade went through, I decided that this season was going to be a total crapshoot. The 'Stons had a coin flip's chance of being buried amongst that dregs of the Eastern Conference and a coin flip's chance of jumping up and joining the Celtics and the Cavs.

Quick aside: The 2008-09 Cleveland Cavaliers are unquestionably the most frightening team I have seen since Jordan's Bulls. LeBron has enough talent around him now that he thinks he can win every game, so he actually tries to win every game. I had always thought that the "If LeBron ever gets good teammates..." argument would turn out like the "If Barry ever had an offensive line..." argument" where Lion fans would pontificate about how unstoppable the '91 Lions would have been if they could have switched O-lines with the Cowboys, but Lions management would somehow not realize this and continually not address the offensive line. Well, Danny Ferry has learned from our mistakes. Barry has an offensive line now and we are all screwed. Snap back to reality...

So far, the Pistons seem to have more Chicago Bulls than Boston Celtics in them and I am dangerously close to thinking about giving up on the 2008-09 season. That explains my worries about the Pistons, but my real concern here is my worries about my own well-being.

It is currently 2008, almost 2009, yet for NBA purposes I am already concerned with the summer of 2010. But it gets worse...I am already worried about the summer of 2010. I don't like how everyone has made the assumption that just because the Pistons will have money during that epic summer they will end up with a top shelf free agent. Sorry, but LeBron is not coming here. If he wants to be a "global icon", he will go to New York. If he wants to win 10 titles, he will go to Portland. If he wants to throw the biggest possible middle finger to the people of Cleveland, he will go to Detroit. So yea, I guess we do have a chance, provided that some yahoo in the Mistake by the Lake decides to chuck a beer a Bron Bron and incite a Palace-style riot. But on the off-chance that doesn't happen, here's the top 3 guys that I would like to see the Pistons go after, as well as reasons why they would not come to Detroit:

- Dwyane Wade: Leaving South Beach for Metro Beach? I don't think so
- Chris Bosh: Joe passed on him in the 2003 draft. This time, he passes on Joe.
- Joe Johnson: The catalyst of the resurrection of basketball in Atlanta, a market that will continue to embrace that team...Why would he leave?

Either the Pistons are screwed, or I'm crazy....

NHL vs. Versus

By Pete McGrath

Just watched the Wings lose to the Avalanche on Versus. While losing is never fun, I really hated having to watching them lose on Versus. The fact that the NHL isn’t on ESPN is one of the most inexplicable blunders of the Bettman reign of terror. While my biggest gripe is of course the fact that ESPN is so widely available, the Versus broadcast itself pisses me off for so many other reasons.

Leading off, the main camera on Versus is always too close to the ice. I realize the rationale in getting closer to the play- easier to see the players and easier to see the puck. However, this makes it hard to see the play develop. It’s hard to catch the precision of the tape to tape cross ice pass with this zoom in effect. In this day and age, most people have pretty nice TVs, so seeing the puck is not the problem people make it out to be. This is not to say I don’t mind the occasional on ice angle shot. With those shots, you get to see up close the speed and violence of the game. In fact I wish all sports showed more of these. It gives you a front row seat in your living room or local bar.

Doc Emrick, the announcer who growls his Rs, drives me up the wall. He’s always like “Lidstrom with a drrrrrrrive from the blue line that sails wide.” So many announcers out there think by growling the Rs it gets people excited. Not me. I suggest the league lets the local guys call the game. I would much rather hear Mickey and Ken call the game than those two clowns, or anyone in the World Series besides Tim McCarver. Also, it would be cool to hear out of town broadcasters call the occasional Wings game. I had MLB TV a few years back to watch the Tigers games while I was away at college, and I always enjoyed hearing the Boston guys or Vin Scully’s take on the game. Could’ve done without Hawk and DJ though.

Lastly, the ‘in studio’ portion of the broadcast leaves much to be desired, although it is much improved from their first year. The set Versus used the first year looked like it was constructed for a public access channel, and made the whole league look second rate. Luckily the NHL was able to side step that land mine by having their games on Versus, so nobody saw it. The set now looks alright, although not as good as TNT’s, CBC’s, or ESPN’s.

Now let’s get to the guys behind the set. Keith Jones always sits somewhat sideways, which is a annoying, and provides serviceable analysis at best. Brian Engblom fails miserably in his attempts to be a poor man’s Barry Melrose, both in his skill as a broadcaster and his pitiful excuse for a mullet. There are so many talented hockey guys over on ESPN, and they need to be the centerpiece of the NHL’s broadcast team. Steve Levy, Linda Cohn, John Buccigross (who writes a kickass column by the way), and Barry Melrose all know the game and are much better personalities on camera.

Lastly, for the love of God, get Don Cherry on TV in America.

GAM is the new OPS

At the same time that I decided that Tony Romo is average, I came to the realization that there is one thing and one thing only that separates average NFL quarterbacks from great NFL quarterbacks (it has been a big night for me). It is the ability to not make critical mistakes at crucial times. More than arm strength, accuracy, mobility, or toughness; the ability not to fuck up is what separates the men from the boys. This is what keeps Tony Romo out of the ranks of the elite. The reasoning is very simple. It’s based on the sabermetric philosophy famously described in Moneyball: You only have 27 outs in a baseball game, so it follows that the best players are the ones that make outs at the lowest rate. This doesn’t translate perfectly to football, as football statistics do not explain the game nearly was well as baseball statistics, but the same principle applies. Each offense will get about 60 plays from scrimmage in an average NFL game. You would figure that a quarterback is probably doing pretty well if he can make less than 5 serious mistakes in those 60 plays. These mistakes can be anything from throwing an interception, to taking a sack, to making the wrong audible, to fumbling, to making the wrong read, to missing an open receiver, the list goes on and on. Unfortunately, because the list of game-changing errors is so extensive, it is impossible to measure it without breaking down the tape of every NFL game. Ron Jaworski was not available for comment, so we are going to have to estimate these numbers for now. Let’s just call this estimated statistic “GAM” (Game-Altering Mistakes). Look at the quarterbacks that have won the last 10 Superbowls: John Elway, Kurt Warner, Trent Dilfer, Tom Brady, Brad Johnson, Ben Roethlisberger, Peyton Manning, and Eli Manning. Not all of those passers were tops in QB rating or passing yardage in their championship seasons, but I guarantee that all of them would have been top 5 in the category of fewest GAM. Romo has all of the tools to excel as an NFL quarterback, but his penchant for giving games away has him glued firmly to the middle rungs of the quarterback hierarchal ladder. Until he improves in this category, Romo isn’t going anywhere and neither are the Dallas Cowboys. Last night’s win against the Cowboys was a step in the right direction, but this win was due more to the efforts of DeMarcus Ware and Tashard Choice than to the endeavors of Tony Romo. I am not saying that Romo is terrible; all I’m saying is that when measuring by the most important stat in quarterbacking, Tony Romo is probably closer to Kyle Orton than he is to Peyton Manning.

Tony Romo is Average

Tony Romo is an average NFL quarterback. I have decided that this fact is unequivocally true. This is a bit of a weird moment for me to realize this, as I watch him lead his Cowboys to a victory over the New York Football Giants on Sunday night. But watching Romo play and considering the talent that he has around him, I have decided that he is what is commonly referred to as a “system quarterback”. He is an average quarterback who is made better by having a terrific offensive line in front of him and all-pro talent flanking him at every skill position. I would argue that Tony Romo currently huddles up with more offensive talent that any other quarterback has in the last 10 years. Terrell Owens, Roy Williams, Patrick Crayton, Jason Witten, and Marion Barber are collectively better than any 3-WR, TE, RB combination in the recent past. Let’s compare Romo to a couple of quarterbacks who have recently had great sets of skill players around them.

In 2004, Peyton Manning came close to matching Romo’s supporting cast. He had Reggie Wayne, Marvin Harrison, Brandon Stokley, and Dallas Clark, but a rookie running back in Joseph Addai. All Manning did that year was toss a record-setting 49 touchdowns and win 13 games before falling in the playoffs to the eventual Superbowl champions. Tom Brady also came close last season, with Randy Moss, Wes Welker and Donte Stallworth, but Laurence Maroney and Benjamin Watson were far from the consistent threats that Barber and Witten are. All Brady did that that bunch was break Manning’s record with 50 scores and lead his team to a 16-0 season and the Superbowl. Where’s Romo’s 50-touchdown season? If two elite quarterbacks can put together record setting seasons with less talent around them, why isn’t Romo doing the same?

The answer is simple: Romo is not an elite quarterback; he is an average quarterback. Just because he makes John Madden soil his pants every time the Cowboys play on Sunday night, it does not mean that he deserves to be mentioned in the same breath with Brady, Manning, or any other elite NFL QB. Sure, he can freelance and make Top 10-worthy plays, but so can Tyler Thigpen. Other than having sex with Jessica Simpson on a regular basis, what does Tony Romo do that the average NFL quarterback isn’t capable of? One-to-one, would you really switch him out with many other quarterbacks in the league? For example, here are five quarterbacks that are generally considered to be at or below the level of Tony Romo that I would rather have running my team this season: Drew Brees, Jay Cutler, Eli Manning, Ben Roethlisberger, and Kurt Warner. If you put Romo on the Saints, Broncos, Giants, Steelers, or Cardinals, do those teams win any more games than they already have? I’m not saying that Romo is terrible; I’m just saying he’s average. In order to be considered above average, I believe that a quarterback needs directly influence more wins than he does losses. So answer this question for me, on just his own merits, has Romo caused the Cowboys to win more often than he has caused them to lose? No. What is holding Mr. Romo back? He is middle of the pack at best in the most important (yet unmeasured) statistic for NFL quarterbacks. More on this tomorrow…

The E-Jax Era

I have spent the last 20 or so minutes trying to talk myself into the Edwin Jackson era in Detroit and honestly, I'm not there yet. I'm sorry, but I really liked Matt Joyce. I understand that the Tigers need to trade offense for pitching, but why did it have to be Matt Joyce for Edwin Jackson? And I know, "You can't teach 97 mph". That's fine, as long as you can teach him to keep his BB/9 in single digits. There is no debate that Jackson has great stuff, but so did Ricky Vaughn before he got glasses. Who knows, maybe E-Jax is just one visit to Dr. Yaldo (anyone who listens to the radio in Detroit should know who this is) away from a 20-win season. Honestly, this really isn't the part of the trade that I am struggling with. Jackson has great stuff and he's only 25 years old, I understand the potential for greatness here. The thing that really gives me problems is this: Who is going to play left field next year? Carlos Guillen? Please Mr. Dombrowski, do not make me endure a season of the Guillentine putzing around in left. I am a huge Carlos Guillen fan and I think he would be perfect as a DH, but that arm and those knees would be an unmitigated disaster in the outfield.

Let me take a step back here, I like this trade... relatively. At least the Tigers got something useful in return for Joyce. You have no idea how happy I was when I heard that JJ Putz is the newest member of the New York Metropolitans. Matt Joyce AND Jeff Larish for a "closer" who spent the entire second half of last season proving how unreliable his health is? No thank you. I guess this trade is just the lesser of two evils for me. My hope is that it leads to one more move, trading Gary Sheffield. I literally leapt with joy when I read that the Rangers had interest in acquiring Sheff. Unloading him would pave the way for Carlos Guillen to move to where he belongs: in the dugout whenever the Tigers are in the field. Maybe give Jeff Larish a shot in leftfield, or platoon Ryan Raburn and Marcus Thames; either of those options would be preferable to no-cartilage Carlos roaming the expanses of the Copa's outfield.

Tigers Off to a Solid Start

Today, Dave Dombrowski traded for Gerald Laird, signed Adam Everett and restored my faith in his team construction skills. After spending last offseason building the world’s greatest slow-pitch softball team, Dombrowski’s budget was cut, forcing him to go back to basics and build his team the right way. He addressed two needs with players who are perfect fits and committed only $4 million to next year’s payroll. He has plugged two of the holes in the Tigers’ ship, surprisingly without making any major long-term commitments. The Laird trade is a perfect example. Dombrowski gave up 2 pitching prospects for a catching sure thing. Laird may not be an all-star, but going into the season, the Tigers know exactly what they are going to get from him. There’s always risk in a trade, I would be lying if I wrote that I wasn’t afraid that trading Guillermo Moscoso might come back to bite the Tigers, but there is a damn good chance that neither Moscoso, nor 17-year-old Carlos Melo will amount to anything useful in the Majors. Laird is exactly the kind of player that the Tigers lacked last season. He plays solid defense, hits the ball to the gaps, and doesn’t make stupid mistakes. I’m not going to say that he is a better player than Pudge Rodriguez, but he is definitely a better fit for this Detroit team. He knows his role and he will perform admirably in it. Ditto for Adam Everett. He will be a perfect stopgap for the next year until Cale Iorg is ready to take over. Everett has a bit of a checkered injury history, but when healthy, he is an elite defensive shortstop. Sure, he can’t hit is way out of a paper bag, but neither could Edgar Renteria. Personally, I would like to see when Ramon Santiago could do with 500 at-bats worth of playing time at shortstop, but I understand his value as a speed/defense guy coming off of the Tigers’ bench. Overall, these moves are a nice start to the offseason for Detroit. Dombrowski has already said that he would like to add some bullpen depth and I would like to see him go after another starting pitcher as well. The 2009 season is a marathon, not a sprint, and although I can’t say that the Tigers are ahead of the pack, at least they haven’t stumbled coming out of the gate.

Be Careful what you Wish for Windsor...

By Pete McGrath

The other night, three of my buddies and I took a field trip to Windsor to see the Spitfires take on the Saginaw Spirit. It easily made it into my top five sporting experiences. OHL hockey is fast, and since the players are hungry to get to the next level, they play very hard. We saw some good goals, some good checks, some good saves, and most importantly a solid face-to-face fight. However, the real star of the game to me was the arena.

The Spits play in Windsor Arena, an old school arena that looks like a barn, and is nicknamed (you guessed it) - "the barn." The Windsor Arena has everything that fans today supposedly do not like. The concourses are small and crowded. The only place to buy a t-shirt or a jersey is a small, cramped stall right next to the door that opened up directly to the cold Windsor night. The bathrooms are pretty small, and they didn't have the little privacy dividers between the urinals. The concessions stand only offered the standards- popcorn, pop, fries, no beer (bummer), nachos and hot dogs. There are no ice daiquiris here, and there is no build in Buffalo Wild Wings or Little Caesars or Big Boy or Ferris Wheel. There is no jumbotron playing the "Over?" speech from Animal House. The aisles to the seats are narrow, the steps are steep, and the seats themselves are not the movie theatre style you see in most stadiums today. In fact, my buddies and I sat on a wooden bench with no seat backs. I'm sure the locker rooms are small, and the players have to walk past the fans to get there. And the arena smells. The locker rooms and players benches come right up to the concourse, so as a fan the smells of the game are in full effect. Anyone whose ever been around hockey knows that nothing stinks up a room like one hockey bag, so imagine how ripe it is around forty players.

After almost 80 years of faithful service, the Windsor Arena is being replaced by the new Windsor Family Credit Union Center (why every arena is a center now I don't know- I think Colosseum, Arena, and Forum are a lot cooler.) The arena will feature more seats, over 1,300 upholstered club seats, over 30 private boxes, and a restaurant that lets fans eat while watching the game. The arena features four ice sheets and a fitness center, which is a good contribution to the local youth hockey leagues. The rationale behind the 62 million dollar arena is a chance for Windsor to get more Rush concerts (Canadians love their Alex, Geddy, and Neil) and more hockey tournaments. Perhaps the CHL's championship, the Memorial Cup, will come to town once every ten years. Plus, fans should be wowed by all these new modern amenities and club seats. But are those amenities really worth it?

There was something about the old barn that made all those shortcomings into strengths. It was a little crowded in the concourse, but I was only there entering the game, leaving the game, and buying popcorn during the 2nd intermission. Judging from the what I saw of the outside of the arena, I thought the concourse could have been expanded a bit if that was such a problem. I really liked how I wasn't bombarded by merchandise and concession stands all trying to take my money when I made my way to the rest room- or excuse me, wash room in Canadian lingo.

The bathroom itself was a little crowded, but all bathrooms are at all sporting events. This might be the biggest lie that all new stadiums use to get taxpayer money. Comerica Park was constructed with this promise, and it was pure bullshit. No matter how big the bathrooms are, whenever a bunch of guys all get up at the same time, the bathroom is going to be crowded. It's not as if these bathrooms with the stalls and the new urinals are any cleaner either. Guys are guys, and we tend to miss, so despite the new bathrooms, there is still urine all over the floor in any guys room at any sporting event. This will not change with the new arena.

Moving back to the concessions, I have seen a lot of reviews of stadiums online, complaining about the lack of concession options. I have never understood this. I enjoy good food as much anybody. I am a good cook(I can make other things besides pasta and red sauce), and I appreciate all types of food. However, a sporting event is not the place for me or anyone to try to expand the palate. Hot dogs, pop, popcorn, nachos, and candy are all an arena really needs. This is all the Windsor Arena offers, and it offers them at a fair price. My large popcorn was only 2 loonies, instead of an arm and a leg.

The Windsor arena lacks some other modern amenities as well. There is no jumbotron here, but I think this is a good thing. The jumbotron has dummed down American crowds. American crowds cheer when their told, like when the "noise" meter comes on the screen at Joe Louis. It also takes people's focus off the game. It was refreshing for me to be able to just cheer on the players all by myself. Also, I loved how the DJ played the "Law and Order" thunk thunk after the other team got penalties. The seats themselves were not the movie theatre style you see in many stadiums today. Our "seats" were just a wooden bench, but they actually provided a lot of leg room. The aisles were narrow, and the steps were steep. While new arenas don't like this set up, they're a plus in my eyes. Narrow aisles mean more seats for fans, and steep steps means you get right on top of the action and a much better sightline over the fans in front of you. From our seats about ten rows up we could see the whole ice surface.

I'm sure getting dressed in a small locker room gets old, and I'm sure it seems a little odd to be tripping over fans while getting to the locker room. But in today's sports world where the players are so separated from the fans that pay ungodly amounts of money to see them, it was cool to see the players walk right by. And after attending so many games in generic antispetic buildings, I was caught off guard by that hockey smell walking by.

However, that smell was the best part of the night. After a number of Wings, Pistons, Tigers, and Lions games I've been to over the years, I have begun to feel like I am at a movie theatre where the main show happens to be the game. To be honest, it really isn't that much fun to go to a professional sports game these days. I'm usually really far away from the playing surface, I cheer when I'm told, and I think nothing of paying 8 bucks for a beer. That Friday night in Windsor was different. For the first time in a while, not despite, but because of crowded seats, old fashioned bathrooms, packed concourses, limited (and cheap!) concession stands, cheap merchandise, alack of jumbotrons making me into a lemming, and that brutal whiff of the players walking by, I didn't feel like such a stooge for shelling out a ton of money for a dead atmosphere. I spent 20 bucks total and I actually felt like I was at a hockey game for once.

Like Tiger Stadium, the Boston Garden, the Chicago Stadium, the original Comiskey Park, and many other historic venues throughout the country, Windsor Arena is being replaced by a supposedly better building. Unlike those buildings however, the Windsor Arena will remain open for youth hockey leagues, which is great news for a preservation buff like me. However, Windsor wanted all the modern amenities and new stadium, and paid for it with taxpayer money. They got their wish of expensive club seats, expensive suites, an overpriced restaurant, newer bathrooms, and nicer seats. But to me, and by many people who feel that those old buildings were a lot better than the new generic ones that replaced them, those amenities are not amenities at all. It seems to me that Windsor just traded in its Cadillac for a Chevy. I guess this proves that old adage true. As the cliche goes- "be careful what you wish for, you may regret it/ be careful what you wish for, you just might get it." You got your wish Windsor, but when you fall victim to the movie theatre effect that happens to me all to often, you will regret it.

I have to write something about The Wire...

Disclaimer: This post has nothing to do with sports…read it anyway.

Tonight, I finished The Wire, the single greatest, most transcendent television show that has ever been created (that is not an opinion, it is a fact). I will try to write this post without the need for a spoiler alert, but be if you haven’t finished the show yet, read on at your own risk. Anyway, I have spent a while trying to find something to which to compare this show, but honestly, I’ve drawn a blank. After all of my pondering, the only thing that came to my mind was a prayer that I was taught as a child:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Anyone who has seen The Wire knows that there is nothing religious about it, but I think this quote from St. Francis of Assisi sums up everything that the show stood for. The Wire taught us that there are some things that we can change and try as we might, some that we can’t. Not everyone has the serenity to accept these things, ahem, Jimmy McNulty, but in the end, we all have to accept them, whether we like it or not. The show isn’t about cops chasing drug dealers, it’s about how a city devolved into an inescapable and self-destructive cycle. It’s about how cheating is the only way to win, but in the end, everybody loses. It’s about unflinching hope, fueled by impossible promises. It chronicles the failures of idealists, yet fosters idealism in all of us. It’s about how most of those with the courage to make change, lack the wisdom to know which changes to make. It’s about how the whole would be greater than the sum of its parts; that is, if the parts gave a shit about the whole. It’s a painfullly depressing take on the state of urban life in America. The saga of The Wire itself aligns perfectly with the plot of the show. Those who do things the way they should be done, those who refuse to play ball, can make their mark for a short time, but their path to the top is inexorably blocked. The Wire never won awards. It was never at the top of the ratings heap. Praise for The Wire has been relegated to the inner circles of critics and those who happened to stumble upon this hidden masterpiece. The Wire has about as much of a shot at an Emmy as Lester Freamon has of being named Police Commissioner. My only hope is that the The Wire wasn’t right about everything, that righteousness and irrelevance do not always go hand-in-hand. Rare is the book, movie, or television series that has the potential to change minds and lives. The Wire has that potential. With the explosion of TV on DVD, it is suddenly possible for the life of this show to extend infinitely beyond its time on HBO. The Wire has presented one of the most poignant and jarring social commentaries of my generation, my only hope is that society has the prescience to drop it in its collective Netflix queue.

My First AI Experience: A Running Diary

I have purposely not commented on the Allen Iverson trade because I didn’t want to pass judgment until I saw how the Pistons played with AI. I thought it would be fun the do a running diary of my first AI experience. Ernie Johnson is signing off from Atlanta, and here we go…

9:44PM: Kevin Harlan tells me that this game is brought to me by the United States Marines. Where is the US Military getting all of this money to sponsor sporting events? Is this where my tax dollars are going?

9:46PM: Kwame Brown is starting? This is going to be a long night…

9:49PM: Corey Maggette is guarding Rasheed Wallace? Maybe this night won’t be so long…

9:50PM: Hamilton hits a signature jumper from the baseline. Good to see Rip hit his first shot. Nice dish from Tayshaun Prince. I like Tay Tay at the point forward position. He played it a lot in college and was very effective. Just in general, Prince is a much better offensive player than he gets credit for.

9:52PM: First bucket from Iverson, he owns that mid-range pull-up. He’s had that shot for his whole career, but he has never been considered as one of the better mid-range players. Why is that?

9:57PM: The Google phone is awesome.

9:58PM: How ironic is it that the NBA Store commercial features Chauncey Billups in Piston shorts and Allen Iverson in a Nuggets headband. You can’t script this stuff.

10:01PM: Marcus Williams enters the game for Golden State. This guy couldn’t start over DeMarcus Nelson and CJ Watson? Did he swipe Don Nelson’s laptop or something?

10:05PM: Monta Ellis has to be really embarrassed about that injury. I mean, at least Ben Roethlisberger was riding a Harley. Come on Monta, you’re not 14 anymore, lose the moped.

10:08PM: Jason Maxiell misses an alley-oop, but gets it right back with a thunderous dunk on the next possession. Maxiell has incredibly long arms, but they look too big for his body. It’s like someone put him in one of those medieval torture chambers or something.

10:10PM: 23-21 Warriors at the end of the 1st. AI has 7 points in the quarter. No question, this Pistons team is different, I haven’t quite decided yet if I think they are any better. There are definite gains on the offensive side, but Iverson and Kwame are weaknesses on the defensive end. AI struggles on the ball, and Kwame just looks generally confused.

10:14PM: Craig Sager is off his game tonight; his suit is not distorting the color on my TV, I am unimpressed.

10:17PM: I love me some Will Bynum. I don’t know if they will ever be able to find any minutes for him in the long term, but he reminds me of a young Lindsey Hunter. He’s quick, a decent shooter, and tough as nails. Not a coincidence that he played in a Final Four in college.

10:19PM: Iverson steals and streaks the other way to draw a foul. He is terrible on the ball, but his anticipation for steals is like Ben Wallace’s anticipation for blocks. He does a great job of clogging up the passing lanes and turning steals into easy buckets. Along with Rip Hamilton, the Piston guards are very opportunistic defenders. AI splits two at the line, DET 26 – GS 28.

10:22PM: Bynum attacks the rack for an easy hoop. This guy can learn a lot from Iverson. I don’t know if it will be on the Pistons, but he definitely has a place in the league.

10:23PM: Any commercial that features LeBron dancing to Kid N Play is all right by me. Excuse me for a minute while I call my State Farm agent.

10:25PM: The Pistons are missing way too many free throws. You can’t give back free points against a team like the Warriors. I have a bad feeling that this might come back to bite them.

10:28PM: Will Bynum just did his best Spud Webb impression. He missed the dunk, but holy shit that kid has some hops. Once again, I love me some Will Bynum.

10:30PM: It is fascinating to watch Amir Johnson going up against Brandan Wright. Somewhere, Jay Bilas is drooling over the “long length” and “upside potential” of this matchup.

10:33PM: Iverson and Bynum seem to have this weird want to drive inside, elevate, and just when you think they are going up for a shot, kick it outside to a not-quite-open-enough shooter. I really don’t see how this helps the offense. Why not just keep attacking the basket early in the game, and then kick the ball out later once the defense starts to collapse on you? It’s really not that difficult.

10:37PM: Doug Collins makes a good point about the Pistons lack of bulk. They have length and quickness, but a strong team (like the Celtics) can push them around. Hopefully, they can figure out how to use their athleticism to compensate, but lack of girth could definitely hurt down the road.


10:42PM: The Piston big guys are not adjusted to Iverson yet. There have been at least three times already that Iverson as dished off to a big inside who either fumbled the pass or missed the layup because he wasn’t ready for it.

10:45PM: CJ Watson just withstood three AI crossovers and took a charge. Maybe I should be worried about Iverson losing a step, but mostly, I am impressed with Watson’s defense.

10:46PM: Crazy Stephen Jackson hits a nice jumper to end the half. The Pistons shot the ball terribly and played absolutely awful on defense, but it’s only 53-46. I am cautiously optimistic.

HALF TIME

11:09PM: The Pistons are off to a terrible start. Everyone is standing around watching Iverson on offense and Golden State is hitting all of their open jumpers. Detroit needs to get some energy into the game before it slips away.

11:11PM: Sheed scores over Maggette and screams “AND 1” all the way back down the court. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I would pay to listen Sheed mic’ed up for a whole game. If everything else he says is half as good as what the floor mics pick up, it would be comedy gold.

11:15PM: AI has already hit 2 threes in the second half. This is a great sign. One of my biggest worries about losing Billups is that the Pistons really don’t have any true three-point shooters. If Iverson can just shoot in the high 30% range from downtown, it will really help to open up cutting lanes for his teammates, specifically Rip.

11:17PM: Walter Herrmann is doing his best Mark Madsen impression, 3 fouls in under one minute. If the Pistons can’t get a hold of Corey Maggette, this game is going to be over fast.

11:21PM: Andris Biedrins blows an easy dunk. There was nobody within 6 feet of him and he bricks it off the heel. Layup for AI, three-ball for Afflalo, and the Pistons are back in the game. DET 63 – GS 69.

11:25PM: The Piston bigs are getting killed in the pick-and-roll. There is no weak side help, but Sheed and Kwame Brown just look lost trying to play guards coming off ball screens.

11:28PM: The Pistons look very reactionary on defense. They are not anticipating cuts and stepping in front, they are chasing and giving up too many open looks.

11:30PM: One of the first times that Iverson controls the offense in the half court leads to a bad shot from Prince. Afflalo makes a great play to finish off of a steal, but it is painfully obvious that the Pistons are not ready to run their team offense through Iverson yet.

11:33PM: Apparently the Pistons heard my critiques of their defense. The guards are flying to the ball and creating turnovers. This is how they can make up for their lack of size. A nice run puts Detroit ahead 75-71.

11:35PM: Iverson with a fantastic finish, but he stands under the rim celebrating by himself after the bucket. I think that the team and the city of Detroit are going to love Iverson, but it seems like it hasn’t really happened yet.

11:37PM: It seems that the Piston bigs are adjusting to AI on the fly. Wallace makes a great catch and finish after a sweet dime from Iverson. That was a turnover in the first half. Great adjustment from Sheed.

11:41PM: I know that this is not my original idea, but can we please make some kind of a law against aerial shots of basketball areas. How does seeing a bird shit on the top of Oracle Arena enhance my viewing experience?

11:44PM: Sheed gets a technical out of nowhere! Another reason why he needs a microphone at all times.

11:45PM: Ball don’t lie.

11:46PM: Doug Collins makes a great point about the Pistons being impatient against Golden State’s zone. At this point, their half-court offense is predicated on dribble penetration, let’s see what happens when the zone takes that away.

11:49PM: I really don’t get the whole phenomenon of the free credit report. If you know that you have crappy credit, how does that help? It doesn’t make your crappy credit any better. It’s just another reminder of how screwed you are. I don’t get it, but maybe that’s because I have impeccable credit.

11:51PM: I think that the best-case scenario for the Iverson Pistons might be something like Villanova’s team a few years ago. A bunch of quick perimeter guys that can shoot and/or get to the rack and a few athletic big guys who can provide a presence on defense and finish around the rim. If this is going to happen, they really need Maxiell and Amir Johnson to step up.

11:53PM: Curry takes a good timeout as Detroit is getting slaughtered on the glass. Golden State is not shooting the ball particularly well, but they are scoring on offensive rebounds. The Pistons need to block out the Warriors’ wings.

11:57PM: Wallace chokes after a Piston offensive rebound, then taps one into his own hoop to give Golden State the lead. Yikes.

11:58PM: Sheed follows it up by missing two free throws. Oh boy.

12:00AM: It’s midnight in Chicago and I am officially worried.

12:01AM: Rip splits a pair at the line. I said it at the beginning of the game, you can’t miss free throws against a team like Golden State, they are coming back to bite the Pistons now. 2-point game.

12:03AM: Wow, I had never seen Andris Biedrins shoot free throws before and I am amazed. He has one of the most awkward strokes I have ever seen. I would love to see Biedrins face off against Shaq in an “Awkward Motion Championship of Darts”, just make sure to pass out safety goggles to everyone in the bar.

12:05AM: Sheed drains 2 HUGE threes. Congratulations Mr. Wallace, welcome back to my good graces.

12:07AM: Amy Adams is hot.

12:09AM: Nice hard foul by Wallace on Biedrins. Send that guy back to the line…

12:10AM: Prince makes a nice defensive play to finally stop Maggette. Rip hits a jumper and I am starting to get comfortable.

12:11AM: Fantastic dish from Afflalo to Sheed for a dunk. Afflalo has been really impressive offensively in this game. He runs the floor well and is not settling for jumpers.

12:14AM: The Pistons are beginning to put this one away with old-school Piston rebounding and defense. The offense is coming along, but if they can keep playing defense like this in crunch time, they will be in every game.

12:17AM: It’s coming down to free throws, but it looks like the Pistons are going to escape with a nice win in Oakland. They played a pretty good game overall, but showed flashes of greatness with the attacking defense in the third quarter and the end of the fourth.

12:22AM: My overall view of the Iversonian Pistons is this: They will be fine offensively after the adjustment period passes, but their season is going to be defined by whether or not the young guys in the front court can step up. I think they can, but we’ll see what happens.

12:23AM: Thanks for sticking with me…Now it’s bedtime.

Coaching with Balls

Herm Edwards is not a good football coach. He was a good football player and he seems to be a pretty nice guy, but the man was not put on this earth to be a head football coach in the NFL. That said, Mr. Edwards does have something that most other coaches in the league seem to lack. Balls. Down by 7 on the road against the Chargers, Edwards had the stones to go for a two-point conversion (and a win) instead to putting his talk between his legs and heading to overtime. Herm knew that his team was gassed and overmatched and that his only chance to win the game was to roll the dice on the goal line, rather than waiting for the coin toss in overtime. He had confidence in his team, but it was a realistic confidence. He was confident that they can win the game, but also knew that he could maximize their chance to win by managing the situations that he put his team in. Unfortunately for coach Edwards and the Chiefs, it didn’t pan out, but although I can criticize the play call, I can’t criticize the decision to go for it. He made the right call for his team in that situation. Don’t get it twisted, having balls isn’t just about taking risks, it’s about taking the right risks, and that is exactly what Herm Edwards did. There are times when coaches know that their team can make the play, but fear of the negative overcomes faith in the positive. I can guarantee that every coach in the NFL has faced 4th down situations in which they knew that their guys could succeed, but they kicked anyway, because they thought more about failure than success. Now, my point here is not that more coaches need to go for it on 4th down, it’s that coaches need to rethink the rules for when it’s okay to take a risk. I could certainly present my own list of rules here, but that’s exactly what I’m arguing against. No two situations in a football game are alike and no two teams are alike, so there are no hard and fast rules for when coaches should take a risk. Head coaches know their teams better than anybody else, and as such, they shouldn’t let rules enforced by commentators govern their decisions. All I ask is that they have the balls to make the decisions that they know are right. My feeble plea for aggression can be summed up in just three words: Sack up, coach. At least one coach seems to have listened.

Cool and Unique Mascots

By Pete McGrath

As you may have read in my previous post, I am against mascots that are weather related, sound focused grouped, or generic. I am greatly for mascots that embrace the local city's culture and history. Examples of this are the Detroit Pistons, the Milwaukee Brewers, the St. Louis Blues, and the Pittsburgh Steelers. I don't mind if a team takes on an animal mascot. Nicknames like Lions and Tigers and Bears (oh my!) are always solid, but are at the end of the day are a little uncreative. However, I hate team names like the Minnesota Wild, Washington Nationals, and Oklahoma City Thunder. They sound like arena football/MLS teams. They just sound boring and don't really stand for anything. But there are also some oddball mascots out there that belong to high schools and minor league baseball teams that I love, and that deserve a look next time a league is naming one of their clubs. Here are a few of my favorites-

Edwin Denby High School, Detroit MI
Famous Alumni: Sonny Bono, Bill Bonds (the real Ron Burgundy)
Mascot: Tars

Denby High School is named after Edwin Denby, a prominent Detroit area politician and Secretary of the U.S. Navy during the Harding Administration. There are many nautical motifs on the school building itself, and the nickname of Tars is nautical as well. Back in the day, rigging on sailboats was made of rope that could rot, so they would be covered in tar to avoid this problem. The tar would get all over the sailor's hands, and sailors themselves became known as "tars" or "Jack tars" as a nickname. This nautical theme is reflected in UNC's Tarheels nickname as well. To this day, tar has an impact on U.S. Navy protocol. While the army salutes with the palm facing the floor, the Navy and Marine Corps salute with the hand at a 90 degree angle (all you see is the back of the hand) in an effort to conceal the once tar covered palms.

Cass Technical High School, Detroit MI
Famous Alumni: Diana Ross, Lilly Tomlin, Jack White, David Allen Grier
Mascot: Technicians

Cass Tech's nickname really doesn't have much of a story. I just like how direct it is. It was started as a technical school, so the teams are called the Technicians. Simple and cool.

Midland High School: Midland, MI
Famous Alumni: No one you've ever heard of.
Mascot: Chemics

Midland is a company town, and Dow Chemical is that company. The company even helped build the school with a donation back in 1911. Once again this is a cool and unique nod to a town's bread and butter industry.

John J. Pershing High School, Detroit MI
Famous Alumni: Tim Meadows
Mascot: Doughboys

Named after one of America's all time bad assess, General John "Black Jack" Pershing, the leader of American forces in World War I. The American troops sent over to fight in WWI were nicknamed "doughboys." The Mexican-American War is believed to be the origin of the term doughboy, where commonplace slang for a U.S. Army infantryman. It became really popular during WWI, but by WWII had fallen out of favor, with the term G.I. taking over. Pillsbury cookies aside, I think this team name is very unique, and has a really cool link to the School's namesake. This is defiantly one of my favorite oddball mascots. I'm sure Leon Phelps agrees.

Fordson High School, Dearborn, MI
Famous Alumni: Walter Reuther
Mascot: Tractors

Fordson was named after Henry Ford and his son Edsel, and it was also the nameplate that Henry Ford used to market his Fordson Tractor, which was a very popular model at the time. Since the school shared the same name, they picked the mascot Tractors. Ironically enough, the school building itself is lavishly decorated, and was one of the most expensive schools in the country when it was built. Even today, the building looks like a college or a boarding school on the outside, contrasting with its unglamourous mascot.

Southeastern High School: Detroit, MI
Mascot: Jungaleers
Famous Alum: Rosalind Ashford of the Motown group Martha and the Vandellas, Bart Scott of the Baltimore Ravens

I've heard conflicting stories on this one, but the one that makes the most sense is that a Jungleer is a military unit/soldier that fights in the jungle. Certainly don't see this one anywhere else.

Moving on from nearby high schools, Minor League Baseball routinely shows that a generic team name is not necessary. Here are some of my personal favorites.

Lansing Lugnuts: Lansing, MI

Lansing is the capitol of Michigan, and nearby in East Lansing is Michigan State University. But the town itself has a long auto manufacturing history, with GM's once proud Oldsmobile division calling this area home base. General Motors still operates a couple plants here, so a nice nod to the automotive history. Lansing Lugnuts also features consonance, so it rolls of the tongue nicely.

Chattanooga Lookouts: Chattanooga, TN

Chattanooga is located right by Lookout Mountain, so that's how the team gets his name. I love when teams find something unique to their hometown, and it's safe to say there isn't another club out there called the Lookouts. Also, gotta love the logo on the hat.

Albequerque Isotopes: Albequerque, NM

Any team name that stems from The Simpsons is alright by me. Also, the name somewhat fits because Los Alamos where the first nuclear bomb was built is nearby. It's a shame that Springfield had to lose its team though.

Toledo Mudheds: Toledo, OH

Despite all these years of being the Tigers AAA affiliate, I never knew the story of this goofy name. Turns out, back in 1896 the team practiced next to a marsh inhabited by American Coots, which are also called Mud Hens. This one holds significance in the family as well, because my Dad came home and cried when he was little leaguer after he found out he was on a team called the Mud Hens.

Alright, that's all I got for now. I'll be here all night if I kept going, especially if I moved into the college ranks.

If you notice in regards to the high school teams I mentioned, I didn't even leave the state of Michigan. Despite my mitten-centric selection of high schools, I got a bunch of really unique and interesting mascots. Oklahoma City, with all its oil and cowboy heritage should've done so much better than the Thunder. Washington D.C. should've paid tribute to the Negro League team that played there(The Grays), or picked something far less focus group sounding than Nationals. The fans in both cities deserved better.

If I ran the NHL Part Tetris

By Pete McGrath

Moving from French to Russian this week on the name, I figured I should give some other countries besides French Canada some love. While I've covered cities, sweaters, and TV deals, I have not covered the actual on ice product. That's what I'll cover this time.

I have to tie up some loose ends though from my last post however. As I said last time, it is pivotal that the NHL expands the TV footprint of the game. One of the best ways to do this is to PUT THE GAMES ON TV!!!!! Currently, due to the leagues broadcast agreement with VS., local broadcasts cannot be shown, even if your club isn't on the Versus schedule. That twelve year old in D.C. with the Ovechkin poster on the wall needs to be able to see his favorite player on TV. Also, the league needs to be more proactive in cases like Chicago, when Bill Wirtz refused to broadcast home games when the United Center wasn't sold out. Which leads to my next point.

Last time I suggested a pay to play system for the Stanley Cup to ramp up the intensity on the ice. Also I suggested a promotional stunt of having the money on the ice for the presentation. That idea was pretty unpopular, but I think people missed the point. I also wanted owners to pay up at the beginning, with the thought process that the financial incentive to win will eliminate the league's shitty absentee owners. While maybe the ante up/pay to play idea isn't a winner, I think all leagues should adopt what I'll call the Wirtz-Sterling rule (named for Donald Sterling of LA Clippers fame.) The rule should be that if an owner has shown a pattern of poorly operating a franchise, then they should have to sell the team. I think ten-fifteen years is a fair judgement call in this case. The Blackhawks play in the second biggest market after Toronto, but they are an afterthought in that city because of the Wirtz family's poor ownership. A strong Chicago franchise is important for any league, and the NHL needs to be more proactive in the future.

Shitty owners aside, the league needs to fix the shcedule. Every club should play each other at least twice. After the Stanley Cup last year, the Wings-Penguins match up should be a hot ticket in Pittsburgh. However, there is not Wings-Pens game in Pittsburgh, which is stupid. The league shouldn't try to create division rivalries where there are none- (I have a tough time getting amped up for Wings-Blue Jackets six times a year) A schedule set up like the NBA's would be fine. As it stands now, the Wings only play the Leafs, Habs, Bruins and Rangers once a year. Those original six match ups deserve at least two games. Also, to pick up the intensity of some games, add more home and home series. Home and homes allows the hatred from the night before to still be fresh in a player's mind, boiling over to the next game creating a more intense match up. How cool would it be to see Wings-Habs home and home, for the fans and the players?

The league has made some positive rule changes to combat the boring New Jersey style trap of the 90s. To me, hockey is the ultimate players game. Not to say good coaching isn't necessary, but hockey coaches cannot call in the pitches, nor can they signal in or draw up set plays. The league was heading in a dangerous direction for a while, but I think they righted the ship with some key rule changes. Most importantly, they brought back the tag-up rule for offsides. I like the no line change rule after icing, and I never liked the two line pass rule. Clutching and grabbing had to go as well. I'm glad the league let the players who can skate play. But they also need to make sure the league doesn't lose it's toughness. Also, I must say the shootout is pretty cool. I thought it was stupid before they had it, but now I am converted. I would rather five shooters go than three, but it's a cool way to end a regular season game.

That being said, the league better not think about touching the sudden death/golden goal OT in the playoffs. There is nothing more intense that playoff hockey, and nothing puts me on the edge more than overtime in the playoffs. The best way to improve the regular season is to try get the intensity to that playoff level. Obviously unlimited sudden death OT is a stupid idea during the regular season, but why not get rid of the OT loss and make every shootout either 2 points or zero. That way clubs wouldn't sit back and play for the 1 point at the end of regulation, but would play hard for the win.

The league has to ease up on their fighting rules. I remember when it would be Wings-Leafs in the early 90s, and as much as I wanted to see Yzerman and Gilmour match up, I really wanted to see Domi and Probert drop the gloves. First of all, nobody gets up for popcorn during a fight. Fights are cool to watch (as the popularity of MMA and Ultimate Fighting shows). Hockey fights have always been much more honorable than other sport's fights- no one spiking anybody (Marcus Vick) and no sucker punches then running away (Carmelo Anthony). Hockey players fight face to face. Hockey fights also ratchet up the intensity of a game, and can give a club something to rally around. The Wings kicked off that Stanley cup run in 97 by beating the crap out of the Avs at Joe Louis in a late regular season game. I think fights are a necessary evil in a way as well. I do not want there to be bench clearing brawls every night, but a good fight to get the bad blood out is ok. I also believe that there would be less cheap shots if fights were legal, because players would eventually have to answer to an enforcer. Let the players police their own game- because while a millionaire isn't going to care about a fine, a punch in the face still hurts no matter how much money you're making. Long story short, Gordie Howe hat tricks are good for hockey.

The league should also go back to the three official system. With players being as big and fast as they are now, it gets crowded out there with four other skaters. Also, you have one official with a close view of the play not making the call, and the guy far away from the play calling a penalty. That really burns a hole in my panty hose. Perhaps give linesman a little more power, but please go back to three officials. Also, at certain times the league takes safety too far. It is a crime against all of my fashion principles that something as glorious as Kerry Fraser's hair is now underneath a helmet. In the NHL's Mount Rushmore of beautiful flowing manes of hair, Kerry Fraser's immovable bouffant helmet doo is a definite shoo in. For the record, I nominate Barry Melrose, Marc Crawford, and Mike Babcock to also be blow-dried, combed, and sprayed into stone. If they let him go helmetless however, the league should probably buy carbon credits to offset all the CO2 and make Kerry Fraser officiated games more environmentally friendly.

The league should also empower officials to call the diving penalty more often. While hockey will never be like soccer, where players fake injuries for calls all the time, I wouldn't mind seeing the occasional player get thrown into the box for a dive.

When it comes to goalies, I have some gripes with the rules. Let the goalies play the puck- that stupid trapezoid thing doesn't really do anything. Also, if goalies play the puck more, they often time create chances/goals by sending an awkward pass up the boards (think Osgood against the Sharks). Passing with goalie equipment is hard, so let goalies screw up and create scoring chances that way. I also hate the delay of game penalty for sending a puck over the glass. I find that rule arbitrary and stupid, and it's not like that was a problem in the league prior to the rule change.

As much as Sean Avery drives me up the wall, I thought his screen against Brodeur was hilarious and should remain legal. What was illegal about it? While annoying, he also can't see the puck behind him so he can't make a deflection, nor can he get out of the way of a shot, meaning it's not a perfect play. Also, that's when a defenceman on the Devils needs to get the sand out of his vagina and knock him on his ass. Once again, let the players police their own game. Brodeur should have cussed out his defencemen after that play because they should've taken care of the matter in front themselves.

One last thing, I firmly believe in the touch up icing rule. I realize it takes longer, and I realize that every other league the play is blown dead after the puck crosses the goal line. But that rule separates the men from the boys to me. Much like getting both feet down in the NHL, the longer three point line in the NBA, and wood bats in MLB, I think this is a rule that separates the amateurs from the pros. Plus when a game is close, seeing two players hustle down the ice going after the puck is fun to watch, and shows who wants it more.

That's it for now. Next time I'll cover some other stuff that I forgot.

Solving the Problems with Overtime Football

My beloved Fighting Irish lost today in overtime to Pittsburgh. I’m not making excuses, but the way Pitt won reminded me of one of the biggest problems with the college overtime format. Notre Dame missed a field goal on its possession in the fourth overtime, leaving Pitt needing only a field goal to win the game. Good thing for the Panthers; they get to start with the football inside realistic field goal range. Now, this turned out to not be a factor, as Shady McCoy reduced the field goal to a mere chip shot, but this does not excuse the problems with the college overtime system. How to handle overtime has always been one of the most debated issues in football. The college and professional ranks have taken diverging paths, with professional choosing a more traditional format and college going with a more out-of-the-box alignment. From my point-of-view, the college overtime is much closer to the way things should be, but at this point, nobody has gotten it right. The tough thing is that with so many facets factoring into the outcome of a football game; it is damn near impossible to integrate all of them into a condensed overtime period that is fair for both teams. The ideal overtime format is pretty obvious. Do it like every other sport, just play another 15-minute period. Whichever team leads at the end of those 15 minutes wins the game. Why does this seem too easy? Because it is. The issue with this format is that it puts too much strain on the players. Unlike other sports, every single play in a football game takes a tremendous toll on the players, and it’s really not fair to put both teams through an additional quarter of punishment, if it can be avoided. Players would never agree to this format, nor should they, so for all intents and purposes, it is not a viable option. Of the current techniques, the NFL format is the truest to the game, but it doesn’t give both teams an equal shot. Unless Marty Mornhinweg is involved, the outcome of the game generally rides on a coin flip. An argument can be made that the loser of the coin flip should be able to get a stop on defense, which is true, but in a regulation game, there would never be a scenario where one team would be on defense the entire time, with no opportunity to answer on offense. If the team on defense makes a stop, then the NFL’s overtime becomes perfect. Each team is forced to play offense, defense, and special teams; first team to score wins. Obviously, there is no way to guarantee a stop, and alas, the NFL overtime format is fatally flawed. The college overtime format is certainly more innovative, but it is far from perfect. As I alluded to earlier, the big problem with college overtime is that the offense gets the ball too close to the end zone. A team should not be rewarded with a field goal opportunity if they can’t move the ball. The idea of giving both teams an equal shot is well founded, but poorly executed. Starting at the 25-yard line cripples the defense and gives the offense a better parachute than an AIG executive. Without a huge negative play, it is nearly impossible for the defense to force a 3-and-out and the offense almost always has an opportunity for a makeable field goal. In the current system, offenses are encouraged to play conservatively and mediocrity is rewarded. The solution is simple, back the offense up 15 yards. It puts the offense out of field goal range and forces aggression on both sides of the ball. If the offense can’t make a first down, they are forced to either go for it on fourth down, or try an extremely difficult field goal. If the defense can stop the offense from converting a first down, they can get off the field and give possession back to their offense without allowing any points. Starting from the forty keeps the offense close enough to ensure sufficient scoring to end the game quickly, but gives the defense an opportunity to get off the field without forcing a turnover. This is the only format that ensures that offense, defense, and special teams all remain as integral cogs in deciding the football game. It does omit the punting/field position aspect of the game, but hey, nobody’s perfect. Honestly, I don’t think that the NFL will ever waver from its current format, but I do think that there is a chance for college to change. So write a letter to your local conference commissioner: Starting Overtime from the 40…Change We Can Believe In!

Wait, where have I heard that before….

For the Love of God....Play Drew Stanton!

Duante Culpepper? Are the Lions serious? Does this make absolutely no sense to anybody else? It’s nice that the Lions have realized that Dan Orlovsky (once considered potentially their quarterback of the future) sucks. It is not so nice that now they have decided that the best course of action for a franchise that is completely in rebuilding mode is to go after a washed-up 300-pound statue who left his last NFL gig after he couldn’t beat out Andrew Walter. Looking at this situation from a distance, one would think that the Lions must be desperate; they must have no other option at quarterback. Well, one would be wrong. In actuality, there is a second round pick who has spent the first 8 weeks of the season carving out a 4-inch deep ass groove on the Lions’ bench. I’m not saying that Drew Stanton is going to save the Lions’ season, but why not see what the guy can do? In my humble opinion, Stanton should have been in the lineup as soon as Dan-O started scoring points for the opposing team. I understand that playing Stanton is the equivalent of waving the white flag to the rest of the NFL (mercifully) and this is a hard pill for a fighter like Rod Marinelli to swallow, but this season is a lost cause. I appreciate that they guy works hard and wants to win, but he has entered coaching senility at this point. His press conferences are like presidential debates, no matter what questions the reporters ask, Marinelli just spews the same crap about “pounding the rock” and how great the team looks in practice. Of course they look good in practice, everybody looks good when they play the Lions! He is about one more loss away from pulling a Mike Singletary and dropping trow in a team meeting. By the way, can somebody please make sure that the 49ers hire Singletary full time? What he gives up in intelligence, he makes up for in sheer comedic genius. This dude makes Dennis Green look like Bill Belichick. His sound byte after the Niners loss last Sunday is already in the pantheon of ridiculously great coach speeches, and Singletary has only coached in one game! Can you imagine the hilarity that will ensure after a week of having Shaun Hill as his starting quarterback? Anyway, back to the Lions. Marinelli has stressed time and again that Stanton is not ready to be a starter in the NFL. Is anyone surprised? How many other Lions are ready to be starters in the NFL? By my calculations, Stanton fits right in! All jokes aside, the Lions need to figure out what they have in Drew Stanton. Based on Matt Millen’s past draft record, Stanton is probably not very good, but the Lions might as well confirm that suspicion. Who knows, maybe Stanton is the second coming of Randall Cunningham, rather than the second coming of Mike McMahon. Mr. Ford has to be curious, right?

If I ran the NHL Part Trois

By Pete McGrath

This edition will cover some of the league's marketing and its TV Deals. Through the years I've always heard people say about hockey on TV "But I can't see the puck." Nothing made me cringe as much as those words (until I saw the stupid light up puck the league tried out). I don't follow that logic. I have never had that problem my entire hockey watching life. So if you can't see the puck, I am not writing this for you.

The NHL has always been a distant fourth in the four major professional team sports in the United States. What the NFL shows every league out there is that dragging your season out all year is not the key to success. The NFL thrives on TV money because every game is a big deal, and seeing as how their TV contract is bigger than all of hockey's revenue put together, it safe to say they were right. So what the NHL needs to do is get more people to watch the game, both in person and more importantly on TV (that's where the money really is). Here are my ideas.

First thing the NHL needs to do is grow the game at a grassroots level. I went to college in Cleveland, and I was shocked at how little people knew about hockey there. Steve Yzerman who is basically canonized here in Detroit is unheard of in Cleveland. People who are rabid Browns, Indians, and Cavs fans (it's not that they don't like sports) literally do not know who he is. Aside from the occasional Sabres fan, the only people that cared about hockey that were not from Detroit were people that had actually played the game through high school.

For this reason, I believe the best thing the league can do for its long term success is get kids to play hockey. Kids in America usually play Little League as a right of passage, high school football is a big deal all over the country, and often people play at least intramural basketball through their college years. The NHL needs to sponsor and facilitate the construction of as many rinks and the formation of as many youth leagues as possible. In Canada, the game of choice is always hockey, weather its watching or playing. The United States will never be as hockey crazy as Canada, but part of the reason people appreciate their NHL clubs so much in Canada, Minnesota, Detroit, and other Northern American cities is that a large part of the populous played the game "back in the day," or still plays in a weekend beer league. Long story short, the nicest arena in America occasionally full of fans won't be worth much in the long run if there aren't a bunch of little rinks in the area full of kids playing the game.

Getting back to putting the game on TV, the NHL made a terrible mistake by signing the TV contract with Versus. Versus is rookieball compared to ESPN. The camera is too close to the ice,
the set looks like a high school doing the video announcements, and Brian Engbloom's mullet sucks compared to Barry Melrose's. Mullets notwithstanding, the global reach of ESPN is simply incredible. ESPN's brand name is worth more than any other channel out there. ESPN is in every basic cable package, is on in every sports bar, and every college guy's dorm room is tuned to ESPN. Versus simply isn't always available.

I realize that Versus offered 60 Million year instead of revenue sharing- but that comes out to 2 million a team, which is for all practical purposes pocket change. This is like turning down the unpaid internship at the best company in your field to work for McDonald's and make some money. Yeah you get a little money upfront, but you are killing your future. Get back on ESPN because that way fans who have never seen you before might. People watching something else on ESPN like Sports Center might forget to change the channel and give hockey a shot. Versus generally has hunting shows on all day, so the NHL isn't getting a whole lot of lead in viewers. Also, Versus simply isn't as widespread channel as ESPN. Any basic cable package has ESPN and ESPN 2. The same cannot be said for Versus, which has left a lot of people who actually want to watch hockey shit out of luck because their cable package does not carry the channel. In conclusion, the NHL needs to pad its resume and take its unpaid internship. The exposure gained from being on ESPN can only help the league.

The league needs to realize that it shouldn't try to out NBA the NBA. Instead the league should embrace and market those quirky things that make the NHL and its players so great. One of my favorite traditions in hockey is the playoff beard. However, come playoff time you hardly ever hear about it. They should market the hell out of this. My product placement gears were turning on this one- why don't they have Gillette sponsor a contest for the best beard in the playoffs? That seems like a no brainer for me.

I was also upset when Bettman changed the Wales and Campbell conference to East and West, along with directional names for the divisions as well. I thought it was cool that the divisions were named after people, and it was unique to hockey. While they can keep the current alignment of teams, think of two people to name two divisions after and bring the old way back. If anything it'll put the league in the news for a bit and will generate publicity just like David Stern did with the NBA dress code a few years back.

These days, when I watch a baseball team celebrate in the locker room I can't tell if they won their division or the World Series. However, hockey players know whats up. They don't touch the Campbell Bowl or the Wales Trophy, because the Stanley Cup is the only true championship. The league needs to let the folks out there know about this great superstition. Market the conference championships as the "Don't Touch the Trophy/Bowl" series.

The NBA is expanding aggressively throughout the world, and the NHL needs to do the same. I don't think the league needs to put teams in different countries, because due to travel that wouldn't be prudent. Players will go to play in the league with the best competition, and that will be the NHL for some time. For example, while Brazil and Argentina produce the world's best soccer players, and their national teams compete for the World Cup (and win it often), nearly all of the players play professionally in Europe. So I do not foresee the need for European teams in hockey (or basketball for that matter).

What the NHL could do though is have each NHL team partner up with a European or Asian city and play a series of games there before the season begins. It would be like having a sister city or a pen-pal for fans from both towns. Have each club play two or three games in one city, that way people can connect to one team, and this way the league can really expand its international footprint. The league already has international players, why not make more money off the international fans.

Back here in America, the league should do something similar by playing more neutral site games, or have some teams have a secondary city. The example that always comes to mind is Green Bay playing one game in Milwaukee every year. Obviously clubs like Detroit, Montreal, Toronto, etc, do not need to do this. However, it would be good for Columbus (if they don't move the team) to maybe play a couple games a season in Cleveland or Cincinnati. Maybe have the Blues play a couple games a year in Kansas City, the Kings in San Diego, the Sharks in Portland etc. If you're having trouble filling up your arena, you might as well take your act on the road where the novelty of a pro hockey game might give you a sellout at the gate. Also, you can get people in those cities to become fans of your club as well, selling more merchandise and getting more people to watch the games on TV.

The league needs to also think a little outside the box in terms of marketing. I got this idea from the World Series of Poker. Relatively speaking the winner's share of any modern trophy really isn't that much (compared to their contracts). For instance, the winner's share of the World Series Trophy was $308,235.75. Now three hundred grand ain't bad, but for guys with the contracts they have now that's chump change. Here's the idea, the league should have every team, and perhaps the NHLPA, ante up for the right to play for the cup in the beginning of the season. Have a couple sponsors (I'm talking about you Labatt) match the money, so this way the winner's share is around 3-4 million bucks per player. And no losers share either- just like the superstition says, conference championship does not count, only by winning the Stanley Cup are you a true champion. I realize that the Cup itself should be a worthy enough goal for any player, but this is really meant to motivate the owners just as much as the players. There are many owners that are doing a terrible job running their teams and are happy to just sit back and collect the revenue sharing. They won't be anymore. Lastly, World Series of Poker style, try to bring all the cash out on the ice as a photo op. I really feel this would be a great publicity stunt for the league, and will help the league out on the operational level by getting more teams to compete as well.

The league needs to do a better job of promoting its video games. While NHL 94 on Sega is widely considered to be a masterpiece, the games since have failed to have that sort of crossover success. Video games are big business these days, and hockey is a sport that translates very well to video games. The league needs to use its flagship game as one of its chief marketing tools the way the NFL does with Madden. If you're not going to play the sport, you should at least play the video game. Also, for an old school guy like me, package the most modern game with an emulator for the 94 version with today's players and rosters. Show the pizza boy/Sega scene from Swingers in the commercial then cut to a similar scene of guys hanging out and giving each other shit playing the modern game, and give a tag about how hanging with the guys never changes no matter what game you're playing.

Also, put Don Cherry on TV. People in Detroit and Buffalo love watching Ron McLean try to keep Don in check. Weather people love Don Cherry or think he's a moron, people still watch Coach's Corner. Also, I love his Fu Manchu playoff beards and crazy suits. Some of what he says I don't agree with, but there is no question that he cares deeply about hockey. Also, in a world of vanilla sportscasters, Don Cherry is refreshing as someone who speaks his mind. Perhaps the NHL should name it's aforementioned video game franchise after Don Cherry. Perhaps EA Sports should call the game Rock 'em Sock 'em Hockey. Just a thought.

Anywho, that's all I got for now. I'll cover game rules, rivalries and schedules next time.

Vince Young to the Lions?

I was listening to radio today and the discussion was about who might start next season under center for my beloved Honolulu Blue and Silver. Normally, I would make a joke here about how sad it is that we are already considering next season and it’s only Week 8, but at this point, it’s not funny anymore. Anyway, the possibility of trading the Dallas Cowboys’ first round pick to the Titans for Vince Young was brought up and it very much intrigues me. The trade could definitely help both sides. By benching Young, the Titans have all but killed VY’s career in Tennessee. Young has lost the trust of that coaching staff and I think both sides know that, barring an injury to Kerry Collins this season, Young will not be back under center for the Titans again in his career. The best solution for both parties is for Young to be traded and the Titans will not get a better offer than a mid-first round pick that’s getting higher and higher with every snap that Brad Johnson takes. From the Lions’ point of view, it is obvious that they need a quarterback. Hell, for the sake of comedy, let’s run down the Lions current QB situation. They have Jon Kitna, who apparently tweaked his back because he has been sleeping with Mike Martz’s playbook under his mattress, Dan Orlovsky, who obviously struggled to color within the lines as a child, Drew Stanton, who seems to have proved to the coaches that he is unequivocally worse than Orlovsky, and Drew Henson, who was once beaten out for a QB job by Quincy Carter. The Lions have nothing close to an NFL starting quarterback and will probably use one of their two first rounders next year to get one. No matter who they hire as the new GM, I do not trust the Lions to draft a quarterback in the first round (see Andre Ware and Joey Harrington for reasons why) and trading for Young would eliminate the possibility of using their inevitable top-5 pick on risky quarterback (read: Tim Tebow). I would rather see the Lions use their higher picks to build from the trenches and trading for Young would go a long way toward ensuring this. Young would also help the Lions to be more successful right away, as his mobility would take pressure off of Detroit’s terrible offensive line. On the surface, it looks like a win-win, no-brainer move, but I think that this whole situation rides on how Young is reacting to his benching and the Titans’ subsequent success. My feeling on Young is that he puts too much pressure on himself. He knew how good this Titans team was and when we felt that he was dragging them down, he flipped out. I don’t think hearing the fans booing would have bothered him if he didn’t know in his heart of hearts that he deserved those boos. Now has been benched and his team is rolling without him. Does he feel sorry for himself? Or is he determined to validate his status as a top-5 draft pick? Based on Mr. Young’s work at Texas, I would lean toward the latter. Much like his first couple of years with the Titans, Young struggled early in his career at Texas, but with time and hard work, he turned himself into one of the greatest college football players of his generation. Now, I’m not saying that Vince Young is going to become a transcendent NFL quarterback, but I think that he has the tools to be a damn good one. I know that he has struggled in the NFL, but I just find I hard to believe that somebody who was so dominant against elite competition in college (he beat Michigan and USC by himself in consecutive Rose Bowls) could turn out to be a dud as an NFL player. Who knows, maybe I’m wrong and Young just peaked too early, but I have a feeling that the talent, poise and leadership and VY showed in Austin is going to translate to success in the NFL eventually. Long story short, the Lions need to take risks if they’re going to dig themselves out of Matt Millen’s grave, and this is certainly a risk that is worth taking.

If I Ran the NHL Part Deux

By Pete McGrath

NHL Sweaters and Mascots Edition

As the NHL has expanded a lot recently, I think choosing cool team names and designing effective logos is key to getting a town to rally around its team, and the NHL’s poor choices has hampered their progress in certain cities. I’m going to go team by team in this column and provide my two cents on their mascot/team colors/jerseys/logo/ and feel free to comment.

I am old school when it comes to uniforms in sports. I believe in simple uniforms, simple color combinations, and simple logos that stand the test of time.
Here are some pitfalls that many uniforms fall into:

Too Many Colors- Pick two colors for your team color and stick with them. Notre Dame, the Yankees, the Lakers, and the Celtics have simple color schemes, and that’s why their unis work.

The house team effect- If you’ve ever played house hockey, one year your sweater might be green, while the next year it might be blue, so it was always prudent to buy black pants and gloves. However at the NHL level, you should be able to afford gear that matches your jersey.

Black proliferation- If black was not originally one of your two colors, do not all the sudden make it one. Do not make it part of your jerseys piping or trim. Also, the black alternate jersey thing has become a bit tiresome. This is kind of similar to the house team effect.

The Rbk system effect. Reebok re-designed a lot of jerseys recently, adding stupid piping at the top of the sweaters and taking the trim off the bottom. Trim on the bottom is important though, because hockey sweaters are meant to be un-tucked. With no trim on the bottom it looks like an un-tucked button down dress shirt- A.K.A. bad.

The Clip art effect- When a logo is obviously computer generated, and looks cheaply done; like a school kid doing a project for class. Clip art logos generally have too many colors as well, corresponding to an earlier pitfall.

Generic/stupid mascots- A cool mascot to me is one that embraces the town’s heritage or is unique in general. Not one that sounds focused grouped or like an arena football team.

Teal- Teal sucks.

Without further adieu, here are the teams:

Anaheim Ducks – I remember when I first saw the jerseys in D2, back when the team was the Mighty Ducks. While I’m glad the team is just the Ducks now and have gotten rid of that terrible early nineties color combo of purple and teal, the current uni’s could use some work. The logo is still a bit cartoony and cheesy. However, at least Charlie Conway doesn’t have to take on the Hawks and Iceland wearing this anymore.

Atlanta Thrashers – I for a while was of the belief that the team name Thrashers was stupid. However, upon doing research I’ve learned that the Thrasher is the state bird of Georgia and was selected by the fans, so I guess that can stay. But the logo and the current jerseys got to go. The logo has too many colors for it to be effective, and it too falls into that clip arty category. The jerseys, with the word Atlanta going down one shoulder are terrible, and the person who designed them should be shot.

Boston Bruins – Any original six team automatically has a cool mascot to me. This team is a case study of why you only need two colors besides white. The simple color scheme and simple logo is all you need. Also, give the club kudos for the new alternate jerseys with the throwback logo.

Buffalo Sabres - I was glad to see they got rid of the black and red jerseys from the 90s. But the Sabres really need to go back to their old logo of the crossed swords with a buffalo in the middle. Simple, effective, with a unique color combination of blue and yellow made their old jersey a beauty. The current slug/Donald Trump’s hair logo is stupid. Also, get rid of the dumb pit stripes, and give me the jersey that Pat Lafontaine wore.

Calgary Flames – Flames is a solid name for a team, and the flaming C logo is effective as well. However, this is a classic example of black getting in the way of a perfectly fine uniform. The black pants and gloves make the club look like a house team, and the black trim is obnoxious. Go back to the red and yellow uni’s of Mike Vernon’s day (or at least give me an update). Also, maybe have some fun with the trim. Maybe have flame trim at the bottom of the jersey or on the socks.

Carolina Hurricanes – I really wish there weren’t so many weather related mascot’s in this league, but of the three I like the Hurricanes the best. The logo is really simple, and has only two colors. I could do without their current alternate jerseys. The triangle behind the logo is stupid, and the hockey stick flagpole looks dumb as well. I like where their heads at though with the hurricane flag idea for an alternate logo, but that is actually a gale flag. Tweak this a bit, put it on a red jersey, and it could work. The black jersey thing is a little played out at this point.

Chicago Blackhawks – Great mascot, great logo, great alternate logo, great jerseys, even cooler throwback jerseys, and as a Wings fan, it pains me to say this, but I think they have the best unis in the league.

Colorado Avalanche – To go from the Quebec Nordiques’s kickass unis to this ugly ass uniform was a disaster. They have maroon and blue with jerseys, maroon and blue and grey socks, but black gloves, pants, and helmets making them a victim of the house team effect and the too many colors effect. The logo is kind of clip arty as well, but at the same time I don’t have any better ideas for an avalanche logo. The trim on the jerseys really needs to be fixed up though. Maybe they could just start all over and name the team the Colorado Turtles.

Columbus Blue Jackets – I always assumed a blue jacket was a type of bumblebee, and never understood why their logo has all the stars on it. Evidently the Blue Jacket name comes from the Civil War soldiers from Ohio, which actually makes it a decent mascot if the logo reflected this. They need to make this part of the logo and embrace the civil war heritage (it would be nice to see a northern based Civil War mascot to combat the Rebels and Vols of the world). If that doesn’t work, just change the team name to the Buckeyes to fool Columbusians into showing up to the games.

Dallas Stars – Not a bad mascot, not bad colors, but it just could’ve been so much cooler. Remember, this team is descendant from one of the all time great team names in sports, the Minnesota North Stars. While I really think it was the height of stupidity for the NHL to move a team out of Minnesota, I will give Dallas its props for embracing its team and hockey as a sport. But how cool would it have been if they were the Dallas Lone Stars, not just the Stars?

Detroit Red Wings – Number two in the league for my money- a great simple logo with just two colors and a simple jersey design. This jersey just shows how less is more sometimes. All logo designers and jersey color picker outers need to pay attention to this jersey.

Edmonton Oilers – A good mascot that makes sense in the oil rich area of Edmonton. The logo has always been simple and effective to me, but I could do without the piping on their current jerseys. They changed from blue and orange to navy and burnt orange a few years back, but word on the street is that they’re wearing their old throwback unis for a few games. I think they should go back to these all the time because after all, if you won five cups in them, why change the unis?

Florida Panthers – A middle of the road mascot, and not a bad logo. The red, navy and gold color scheme is a bit busy however. Just black and white would look pretty badass if you ask me.

Los Angeles Kings – The LA Kings have a solid mascot with a solid color scheme. Purple is the color of royalty after all. The current crown logo isn’t bad, but I have to say I liked the coat of arms logo they just changed from a little bit better.

Minnesota Wild – This team name sort of prompted this column. What the fuck is a Wild? Evidently it’s some saber tooth tiger shaped thing with trees on it, which looks eerily similar to the Nashville logo. They should’ve gone with the Minnesota Fighting Saints as a tribute to the WHA team, or furthermore stuck it to Dallas for moving by calling the team the North Stars. Anything but the Wild- it sounds like an Arena Football League team. Once again, there are two many colors and too much crap going on in the logo. Get rid of the gold, change the logo, and change the team name. However, the Wild’s success (every single game sold out) despite their atrocious logo and sometimes lackluster play on the ice illustrates the need for the league to put teams in hockey cities, and further proves my theory from my last post.

Montreal Canadiens – Great team name, great logo, great sweater, no further discussion or links needed.

Nashville Predators – Predators isn’t a bad mascot, but it’s very generic. Once again I wish the league did a better job of embracing a city’s culture and was more creative with the team mascot. Nashville is known for its music, so the Nashville Musicians or something along those lines would’ve been pretty cool. The uniform is a bit busy for my tastes, and I won’t even bother providing a link to the deplorable alternate jersey.

New Jersey Devils – This club made a wise decision changing its colors from green and red to black and red. The Christmas decorations ensemble did not look very tough, and was kind of contradictory to naming the club the Devils. The logo is actually deceptively cool. The NJ with the stylized horns and tail is simple but nicely done.

NY Islanders – This is one of the cooler team names in the league. Jets, Mets, and Islanders fans are generally Long Island folks, so the team name and the logo really embraces the community. There was a brief period where the club fell victim to the teal craze of the nineties, but now their unis are for the most part back on track. Once again, the uniform is a little busy with the lines on the shoulders, but I can live with that. The Chevron patch on the shoulder representing the club's four Stanley Cups is really cool. In any event, I guess a solid uniform still does not prevent you from signing Alexei Yashin to a terrible contract.

NY Rangers – Once again it’s an Original Six team, so of course the unis and the team name are cool. The classic Rangers script across the front of the sweater hasn’t been changed in years, and it doesn’t need to be. The alternate sweater has to go though. A marquis franchise with classic uniforms should not have to resort to selling alternate jerseys. Also, extra kudos for pulling off the collar laces so well.

Ottawa Senators – The league had the right idea for this club by reviving the Senators mascot from back in the day. The color scheme of red and black works well, and I liked the original logo as well. While technically speaking the logo is of a Centurion, not a Senator, it still fits and was a good logo. The new logo is a bit cartoony to me. Also, once again the pit stripes have got to go. A team with an old school crest and an old school history deserves a simple straightforward jersey. This old bumblebee sweater isn’t have bad either.

Philadelphia Flyers – The logo and the mascot are classics. They’re original and name rolls off the tongue because it features alliteration. I have one request- go back to the orange jerseys. The black jersey is very played out, and the orange was sharp and unique– very few clubs in any sport have orange jerseys. Plus you can’t see the black logo on the black background.

Phoenix Coyotes – While I do mind hockey in Phoenix, I do not mind the mascot or the team colors. The Coyotes wisely changed their color scheme from black, green, red, tan, and a bunch of other colors on the crest to a simple dark red and white. The logo is also much simpler and better. This may come as a surprise thought but I actually liked their old Native American style trim on the old sweater (just the trim though). I thought it was unique to the team and a cool tribute to the Native population in the area. This sweater also fell victim to the RBK edge uniform though by losing its bottom of the jersey trim. Fix that, and you got a really cool jersey, but I would rather this team move back to Winnipeg.

Pittsburgh Penguins – Pittsburgh has a cool thing going with all their clubs being black and gold in color scheme, in tribute to the City of Pittsburgh’s flag. This club did a terrible thing when they got rid of the skating penguin logo for the more streamlined flying penguin logo with the stripes. Just like how Pat the Patriot is cooler than the Flying Elvis logo that the Patriots use on their helmets now, the skating penguin was better and needed to come back. It’s back, but the Penguin’s gold isn’t the yellow gold it used to be. They should go back to those colors to match the Steelers and Pirates, and add some trim at the bottom of the jersey.

San Jose Sharks – You can thank this team for kicking off the teal craze of the nineties. I loved seeing my beloved Pistons where teal. Thanks.

St. Louis Blues – One of the coolest and most unique mascots in all of sports. This team and the former New Orleans Jazz are the only two big league clubs named after a type of music. With their current sweater, they have shades of navy and royal blue. Pick a shade of blue, and stick with it. Also, maybe use those alternate jerseys with the Gateway Arch on the crest full time.

Tampa Bay Lightning – The last of the weather related mascot clubs in the league. Not a terrible name, but not that good of one. It would have been really cool to me if they did some sort of cigar related theme with Tampa being nicknamed Cigar City, but I guess that wouldn’t fly in this day and age. The logo itself is a little clip arty again, and I could do without the lightning bolts on the pants, but I can live with it. What I’m really pumped for is the new alternate sweater, which is blue instead of black, and features a script bolts across the chest like the Rangers jerseys. Nicknames and abbreviations on jerseys are always cool to me, and I like this jersey a lot.

Toronto Maple Leafs – A great mascot that is unique to hockey, a simple two color scheme (or should I say colour scheme), and a simple jersey. Simply timeless and classic, and no links required.

Vancouver Canucks – Every league has one I guess, Oregon in NCAA football, the Houston Astros in MLB, and of course the Vancouver Canucks in hockey. They have gone through more ugly uniforms than any other team in the league, and still haven’t gotten it right. The notorious V stripes, the Star Wars/spaghetti bowl/flying skate logo, the atrocious orca logo, and now back to the hockey rink logo with the atrocious orca logo with a script Vancouver over the top. This club just doesn’t get it, but they should go back to the ugly V stripe sweaters. At least those were so bad they were good. You Google the Canucks unis on your own- I’m getting lazy and I don’t want to find twenty links to all of their god-awful jerseys. By far and away the worst unis in the league.

Washington – I always liked the pick of Capitals as the team mascot- a solid nod to the team’s hometown. For the new Rbk unis, they did a really nice update of their old sweaters. The pit stripes for whatever reason look good on this sweater, and the team was wise enough to add some trim at the bottom of the jersey, which really makes them look like game jerseys, not practice jerseys. I think on this particular entry I proved that I am not a complete curmudgeon when it comes to jerseys.

While it was fun for me to come up with all the links and bullshit about all the unis/team names in the league, at the end of the day this series of entries is about the business end of the NHL. Strong mascot choices and merchandise sales are good business, and the league has done a poor job of making these choices over the years. Some choices have been missed opportunities, and some have been flat out awful. However, this is also one of the easiest things the league can fix. My next article will cover the league’s exposure on TV and marketing, which will be critical to the league’s future success.