My First AI Experience: A Running Diary

I have purposely not commented on the Allen Iverson trade because I didn’t want to pass judgment until I saw how the Pistons played with AI. I thought it would be fun the do a running diary of my first AI experience. Ernie Johnson is signing off from Atlanta, and here we go…

9:44PM: Kevin Harlan tells me that this game is brought to me by the United States Marines. Where is the US Military getting all of this money to sponsor sporting events? Is this where my tax dollars are going?

9:46PM: Kwame Brown is starting? This is going to be a long night…

9:49PM: Corey Maggette is guarding Rasheed Wallace? Maybe this night won’t be so long…

9:50PM: Hamilton hits a signature jumper from the baseline. Good to see Rip hit his first shot. Nice dish from Tayshaun Prince. I like Tay Tay at the point forward position. He played it a lot in college and was very effective. Just in general, Prince is a much better offensive player than he gets credit for.

9:52PM: First bucket from Iverson, he owns that mid-range pull-up. He’s had that shot for his whole career, but he has never been considered as one of the better mid-range players. Why is that?

9:57PM: The Google phone is awesome.

9:58PM: How ironic is it that the NBA Store commercial features Chauncey Billups in Piston shorts and Allen Iverson in a Nuggets headband. You can’t script this stuff.

10:01PM: Marcus Williams enters the game for Golden State. This guy couldn’t start over DeMarcus Nelson and CJ Watson? Did he swipe Don Nelson’s laptop or something?

10:05PM: Monta Ellis has to be really embarrassed about that injury. I mean, at least Ben Roethlisberger was riding a Harley. Come on Monta, you’re not 14 anymore, lose the moped.

10:08PM: Jason Maxiell misses an alley-oop, but gets it right back with a thunderous dunk on the next possession. Maxiell has incredibly long arms, but they look too big for his body. It’s like someone put him in one of those medieval torture chambers or something.

10:10PM: 23-21 Warriors at the end of the 1st. AI has 7 points in the quarter. No question, this Pistons team is different, I haven’t quite decided yet if I think they are any better. There are definite gains on the offensive side, but Iverson and Kwame are weaknesses on the defensive end. AI struggles on the ball, and Kwame just looks generally confused.

10:14PM: Craig Sager is off his game tonight; his suit is not distorting the color on my TV, I am unimpressed.

10:17PM: I love me some Will Bynum. I don’t know if they will ever be able to find any minutes for him in the long term, but he reminds me of a young Lindsey Hunter. He’s quick, a decent shooter, and tough as nails. Not a coincidence that he played in a Final Four in college.

10:19PM: Iverson steals and streaks the other way to draw a foul. He is terrible on the ball, but his anticipation for steals is like Ben Wallace’s anticipation for blocks. He does a great job of clogging up the passing lanes and turning steals into easy buckets. Along with Rip Hamilton, the Piston guards are very opportunistic defenders. AI splits two at the line, DET 26 – GS 28.

10:22PM: Bynum attacks the rack for an easy hoop. This guy can learn a lot from Iverson. I don’t know if it will be on the Pistons, but he definitely has a place in the league.

10:23PM: Any commercial that features LeBron dancing to Kid N Play is all right by me. Excuse me for a minute while I call my State Farm agent.

10:25PM: The Pistons are missing way too many free throws. You can’t give back free points against a team like the Warriors. I have a bad feeling that this might come back to bite them.

10:28PM: Will Bynum just did his best Spud Webb impression. He missed the dunk, but holy shit that kid has some hops. Once again, I love me some Will Bynum.

10:30PM: It is fascinating to watch Amir Johnson going up against Brandan Wright. Somewhere, Jay Bilas is drooling over the “long length” and “upside potential” of this matchup.

10:33PM: Iverson and Bynum seem to have this weird want to drive inside, elevate, and just when you think they are going up for a shot, kick it outside to a not-quite-open-enough shooter. I really don’t see how this helps the offense. Why not just keep attacking the basket early in the game, and then kick the ball out later once the defense starts to collapse on you? It’s really not that difficult.

10:37PM: Doug Collins makes a good point about the Pistons lack of bulk. They have length and quickness, but a strong team (like the Celtics) can push them around. Hopefully, they can figure out how to use their athleticism to compensate, but lack of girth could definitely hurt down the road.


10:42PM: The Piston big guys are not adjusted to Iverson yet. There have been at least three times already that Iverson as dished off to a big inside who either fumbled the pass or missed the layup because he wasn’t ready for it.

10:45PM: CJ Watson just withstood three AI crossovers and took a charge. Maybe I should be worried about Iverson losing a step, but mostly, I am impressed with Watson’s defense.

10:46PM: Crazy Stephen Jackson hits a nice jumper to end the half. The Pistons shot the ball terribly and played absolutely awful on defense, but it’s only 53-46. I am cautiously optimistic.

HALF TIME

11:09PM: The Pistons are off to a terrible start. Everyone is standing around watching Iverson on offense and Golden State is hitting all of their open jumpers. Detroit needs to get some energy into the game before it slips away.

11:11PM: Sheed scores over Maggette and screams “AND 1” all the way back down the court. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I would pay to listen Sheed mic’ed up for a whole game. If everything else he says is half as good as what the floor mics pick up, it would be comedy gold.

11:15PM: AI has already hit 2 threes in the second half. This is a great sign. One of my biggest worries about losing Billups is that the Pistons really don’t have any true three-point shooters. If Iverson can just shoot in the high 30% range from downtown, it will really help to open up cutting lanes for his teammates, specifically Rip.

11:17PM: Walter Herrmann is doing his best Mark Madsen impression, 3 fouls in under one minute. If the Pistons can’t get a hold of Corey Maggette, this game is going to be over fast.

11:21PM: Andris Biedrins blows an easy dunk. There was nobody within 6 feet of him and he bricks it off the heel. Layup for AI, three-ball for Afflalo, and the Pistons are back in the game. DET 63 – GS 69.

11:25PM: The Piston bigs are getting killed in the pick-and-roll. There is no weak side help, but Sheed and Kwame Brown just look lost trying to play guards coming off ball screens.

11:28PM: The Pistons look very reactionary on defense. They are not anticipating cuts and stepping in front, they are chasing and giving up too many open looks.

11:30PM: One of the first times that Iverson controls the offense in the half court leads to a bad shot from Prince. Afflalo makes a great play to finish off of a steal, but it is painfully obvious that the Pistons are not ready to run their team offense through Iverson yet.

11:33PM: Apparently the Pistons heard my critiques of their defense. The guards are flying to the ball and creating turnovers. This is how they can make up for their lack of size. A nice run puts Detroit ahead 75-71.

11:35PM: Iverson with a fantastic finish, but he stands under the rim celebrating by himself after the bucket. I think that the team and the city of Detroit are going to love Iverson, but it seems like it hasn’t really happened yet.

11:37PM: It seems that the Piston bigs are adjusting to AI on the fly. Wallace makes a great catch and finish after a sweet dime from Iverson. That was a turnover in the first half. Great adjustment from Sheed.

11:41PM: I know that this is not my original idea, but can we please make some kind of a law against aerial shots of basketball areas. How does seeing a bird shit on the top of Oracle Arena enhance my viewing experience?

11:44PM: Sheed gets a technical out of nowhere! Another reason why he needs a microphone at all times.

11:45PM: Ball don’t lie.

11:46PM: Doug Collins makes a great point about the Pistons being impatient against Golden State’s zone. At this point, their half-court offense is predicated on dribble penetration, let’s see what happens when the zone takes that away.

11:49PM: I really don’t get the whole phenomenon of the free credit report. If you know that you have crappy credit, how does that help? It doesn’t make your crappy credit any better. It’s just another reminder of how screwed you are. I don’t get it, but maybe that’s because I have impeccable credit.

11:51PM: I think that the best-case scenario for the Iverson Pistons might be something like Villanova’s team a few years ago. A bunch of quick perimeter guys that can shoot and/or get to the rack and a few athletic big guys who can provide a presence on defense and finish around the rim. If this is going to happen, they really need Maxiell and Amir Johnson to step up.

11:53PM: Curry takes a good timeout as Detroit is getting slaughtered on the glass. Golden State is not shooting the ball particularly well, but they are scoring on offensive rebounds. The Pistons need to block out the Warriors’ wings.

11:57PM: Wallace chokes after a Piston offensive rebound, then taps one into his own hoop to give Golden State the lead. Yikes.

11:58PM: Sheed follows it up by missing two free throws. Oh boy.

12:00AM: It’s midnight in Chicago and I am officially worried.

12:01AM: Rip splits a pair at the line. I said it at the beginning of the game, you can’t miss free throws against a team like Golden State, they are coming back to bite the Pistons now. 2-point game.

12:03AM: Wow, I had never seen Andris Biedrins shoot free throws before and I am amazed. He has one of the most awkward strokes I have ever seen. I would love to see Biedrins face off against Shaq in an “Awkward Motion Championship of Darts”, just make sure to pass out safety goggles to everyone in the bar.

12:05AM: Sheed drains 2 HUGE threes. Congratulations Mr. Wallace, welcome back to my good graces.

12:07AM: Amy Adams is hot.

12:09AM: Nice hard foul by Wallace on Biedrins. Send that guy back to the line…

12:10AM: Prince makes a nice defensive play to finally stop Maggette. Rip hits a jumper and I am starting to get comfortable.

12:11AM: Fantastic dish from Afflalo to Sheed for a dunk. Afflalo has been really impressive offensively in this game. He runs the floor well and is not settling for jumpers.

12:14AM: The Pistons are beginning to put this one away with old-school Piston rebounding and defense. The offense is coming along, but if they can keep playing defense like this in crunch time, they will be in every game.

12:17AM: It’s coming down to free throws, but it looks like the Pistons are going to escape with a nice win in Oakland. They played a pretty good game overall, but showed flashes of greatness with the attacking defense in the third quarter and the end of the fourth.

12:22AM: My overall view of the Iversonian Pistons is this: They will be fine offensively after the adjustment period passes, but their season is going to be defined by whether or not the young guys in the front court can step up. I think they can, but we’ll see what happens.

12:23AM: Thanks for sticking with me…Now it’s bedtime.